Blood transfusions and iron infusions.

Think i have had four separate blood transfusions with in one year and the last one was 5 months ago, which is a record for me at the moment. Although my blood level has dropped to 10.4 again hopefully it wont go below 7 as that is when a blood transfusion is considered as you are considered anaemic enough. I remember my  first blood transfusion it was terrifying i had just been admitted to the psychiatric hospital when my haemoglobin eg: HB level was at 4.4. i was dying basically. And i loved the thought that i was dying but not the thought that i was in hospital and feeling so weak. i couldnt walk or stand up with out fainting, which was scary. I remember i was there one night and then deemed to physically unwell to stay on the ward so i was taken to the nearest hospital. Where i stayed always with one member of staff as i was under a section. section 2. Then i was moved to a bed and i refused the blood transfusion for hours, and then they said that they would force me to have it, at this point i gave up fighting and accepted the blood transfusion i think i had about 4 units of blood, which was a lot, and i can remember how much better i felt just after one bag of blood, i could think and the pains i was having had gone. I was getting better and i hated it but i knew it was my only option at that time. I dont really remember the other blood transfusions all i can remember is that some of them i chose to have due to how unwell i was and others i was sectioned and being forced to have one. But like i said at the top i havent had a blood transfusion in five months at the moment and that is a record for me. Although my blood is slowly dropping again im hoping to stay out of hospital. I remember some times choosing to have an iron infusions as i knew that took a lot longer to get my HB back up to a normal level and i could carry on harming and loosing blood. You may ask how i got my self in these situations and its through self harm, i was harming through cutting and draining my own blood. I know that may sound a bit weird but i got the emotional release i need through taking risks with my life.