I look like a half normal 22 year old but what you would know is that i hear voices. They are usually bad and horrible to me but i start to miss them when the medication starts to work and takes them away and dulls them. I usually listen to their advice and its usually bad advice for example hurting my self or attempting suicide. I hear six voices both male and female, there is one who is more dominant than the others and she is the meanest. I hear a lot of your fat, your ugly, poisoned food dont touch, they spying on you, they hate you, there laughing at you. people are going to think you are stupid writing this. I hear them most of the time. I do get distracted when people are talking to me or im in a crowded places as i get confused as to who is saying what. at the moment they are pretty relaxed and not to hurtful to me. But they are still here. I think i would be lost if the voices went completely, i sort of see them as my friends as they look out for me, with being poisoned and stuff like that. But on the other hand when im walking along a path and they tell me to jump in front of the car its hard to resist.I do try to understand that others cant hear them but i find that hard to believe most of the time, i believe people can hear my thoughts and the voices coming out of my ears and everyone who says they cant is clearly lying to me.
I used to see this girl who was about 6 years old wearing a Victorian style dress and she used to talk to me in a soft voice asking for help, where as other times she would be screaming so loud asking for my help it was hard to ignore her. i didnt know how to help her or what i should do but on occasions she asked me to cut to let the voices free, i did cut but the voices werent freed.
Now a days i see this man, he talks to me just like anyone else talks to me. he is mainly in my life when i am anxious and scared and helps me out of those situations normally from harming. Most people dont know that i see this man and the only way i know he is no longer real is that he gets in my flat with the door locked and no one else sees him. He scares me some times as im not fully sure what he is capable of but i try to be the one to stay in control.