Wednesday 30th March 2016- morning failure. 

Im a failure, always have been always will be! 

I can’t do things right like everyone else I always seem to find a way to reck everything. 

I can’t even get in a bath with out feeling horrible, I then get out and where the same clothes I’ve worn for the last week in the day and night. I have no motivation to wash or wash my hair which I haven’t done in weeks. A simple task for most yet I can’t seem to get to grips with it.

I get out of bed put socks on stand up and then collapse back in to bed. I see no reason to get up or move. I do nothing just sit staring at the wall wondering when did this all change. There’s so much I could do and need to do but that doesn’t even cross my mind. 

I’m useless, I can’t do anything right. Im slowly killing myself, and I feel nothing.  I wish I felt something, like I have a purpose to be here, like I’m wanted, like I do things right, but that’s no longer me. I’m nothing! 

I don’t deserve anyone to care or listen, I’m just recking everyone else life, I’m better off dead. 

But there’s a part of me writing this wishing I could be with my family or go and see my brothers grave, why don’t I you ask, well I can’t leave the house, I can’t even open my curtains how am I supposed to go out and socialise. I’m lonely. And I will probably die lonely. 


By rosiestar11

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