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Saturday 30th April 2016

Went to see my sister and cousin race there go karts, not much else apart from two rainbows. 🙂 🌈 this time last year I would have been in Florida and two years ago I would have been in hospital sectioned, how things have changed. 

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Friday 29th April 2016

Duty doctor called me with my urine results and wanted me in hospital to have Intravenius antibiotics but I said no, so going to try the tablet forms for a few more days. I see this as good as if I don’t take them or drink fluid I could get even iller pretty quickly, I’m in control and its up to me what happens next. He said it was quite serious. 

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Thursday 28th April 2016

Haven’t spoke to anyone today, been really suicidal. Had a nice long sleep with Joshua. 

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I’m not safe. 

I don’t feel safe from any one. I know that my neighbors are working with the “mental health team” aka spies. I’m scared. I’m scared of myself. im scared of what I may do. 

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Wednesday 27th April 2016

Had therapy but had to walk out as I was too scared that the “mental health” team are after me. I called my gp who’s hopefully going to call me back today, I need someone on my side. I’m scared to answer the phone incase it’s the team. I’m scared and not sure what to do? 

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Tuesday 26th April 2016-medication/SPYders. 

I’ve called the doctor because I’m in so much pain with my side, and was in a lot of pain this morning. I’m not sure I should take my medication, it’s only been upped so I keep quiet. I took the new dosage last night, and felt no different, but that was only one dose. I feel I shouldn’t take any more because it’s what the spy’s want. They want me to be sleepy so i don’t notice them creeping around my room, I can see the SPYders very clearly. But I’m scared of them and can’t reach them thank goodness. They are horrible but if I don’t give them anything to go back to head quarters. Doctor just called I need antibiotics again was only on them a few weeks ago. So a bit annoying but hopefully will help with pain, I can take these ones as they are from my doctors surgery and not the”mental hospital” where there spy’s and not really doctors. I helped a lady in her wheel chair over the curb and in to her car. My car is playing up again. Went out for a little drive with joshua. Food shop came 1/2 hour early. He looked like the man who attacked me, and really scared me. I’m really anxious now. Also I’m so drowsy I think it might be the medication. Im scared.

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Monday 25th April 2016

Got my new dosage of medication today. Been looking after Joshua most of the day. Waiting from a call from my doctor. I’m planning on calling the police and telling them all about the spy’s and my “mental health team” hoping the police can prove I  am right. 

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Sunday 24th April 2016

Done quite a bit, got a few duals on and went for a walk with Joshua, went for a little drive. Signed up to do the marathon in May. It’s 26 miles in the whole of May, going to do a mile a day roughly. It’s for the British heart foundation. Going to try and call my doctor tomorrow as still really struggling. 

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My can of Diet Coke is crying. 

  

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Saturday 23rd April 2016 

I feel so low and scared I called increase support the man I spoke to was so rude. Made me feel 100% worse. Congratulations “mental health team”—– really the spies headquarter! I know there bad. I need to stay away, I deserve to suffer alone! It’s all your fault.