Month: May 2016

Today is a bank holiday, hopefully going to go out for a walk to finish the bhf marathon month, had a restless night, and some weird dreams. I’ve lost 6ils in a week, so hopefully I can keep going just need to burn more fat. 

Did a bit of a walk to the hospital to collect a letter, did some washing and sorted out clothes to sell. Had a busy day. 

Had a nice day. Went to the beach, was feeling really poorly though. 

I’m not sure about you but my experience with the mental health teams aren’t that good, I know there under a lot of pressure with budgets being cut and beds being cut, but shouldn’t we still receive the best possible treatment. After talking to my care worker and the increase support staff mostly I feel worse than why I called them. They make me suicidal, and self harm. Is this truly there best,  maybe it’s just because they don’t like me and believe I deserve to suffer, or MOST LIKELY it’s because I’ve found out there spies. And they know when have gathered all the evidence they won’t have a foot to stand on. Will soon see. 

Having a rough day spoke to care worker who didn’t seem to care or listen at all so very upset with them at the moment. Think I’m better off not having contact with them. Tried many distractions, nothing’s working. I’m not sleeping well, I’m so anxious all the time. I think it would be easier if I was dead. I hate the voices, especially what there saying to me. 

Made cakes, and had some help decorating them. Had a bit of a rough time with the voices. 

Today I was up early had a tesco shop coming, I was going to make cakes and still might, but I haven’t desided. I need to exercise as I’m still putting on weight, doesn’t make sense. In doing everything that I’m supposed to do. 

I met my new support worker, was extremely anxious but she seemed very nice. It was a very anxious day, and I’m glad someone was able to stay with me, went for a little walk around the feild by mine. Taylor’s selfie…

I got my weight loss book and I’m loving filling it in. I’m going to loose weight and keep it off. I actually started to tidy up, and get ready for my appointment tomorrow. I also spoke to my God mother and she wants to see me when she comes down next month. 

Went for a long drive and and had a bath and washed my hair. Had a little break down and cried.