I feel so low. It’s becoming clearer and clearer what needs to happen. I don’t deserve to be happy or have a baby. I deserve to suffer. I can feel it in the presence of other people. I’m not liked/ or wanted. Enough is enough. The foot steps won’t stop! Who is it! I can’t deal with this.
It’s completely obvious that I’m not liked or wanted or needed! Please watch your video of you that you have any doubts about euthanasia, it’s the best thing for everyone! You do not belong here any longer and there’s no point feeling this pain and torture, to be ignored!
Today I’ve been thinking very seriously about euthanasia, and where to get it, and what plans I want to make in preparation for going a head. I really need a break. I got upset because my cats chewed through my special head phones, im scared and feel like I want to be alone, but then being scared that I’m alone. I can tell I’m letting everyone down around me. But hopefully I make the choice to go a head with euthanasia and make everyone happier.
I’m scared, but I don’t know what to do. I’m scared.
Today I started to clean up the bed room, got a dehumidifier and it filled up really quickly. Went to the doctors I’ve got to have a blood test and X-ray because of my breathlessness. Had a good appointment. Also phoned about the counselling but there’s a 4 month wait. Arranged to go and see my cousin on Wednesday so happy about that. Felt very dizzy today.