For days now I’ve been feeling alone in company, but now I’m on my own and feel lonely again. I always hate the new year, but today has been the worst day in along time. I’m seeing in the new year on my own. I guess by being on my own means I can do what ever I want, and I intent too.
Month: December 2016
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Last day of 2016.
What a rubbish day. It all started off well but then quickly changed one of my sisters said something that really hurt and upset me. I know my family are all together right now waiting for the new year countdown, while I’m at my place, feeling really low. I don’t feel I can go over there and celebrate with them because of what was said earlier. I also tried to get in contact with an old school friend but haven’t heard anything back. At the minute I’m trying to decide whether or not I want to be on my own. In some ways I do because I don’t feel worthy of anyone’s company and I feel like a waste of space.
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Friday 30th December 2016
Went to go to a local museum but it was busy so decided not to go in. Went to my parents and saw my uncle, but had a really bad head ache so came Home for a bit. Can not believe it but I go to my lowest weight in years, just in time for the new year. Spent the evening at my parents and had a really good time. Made it feel worth while.
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Thursday 29th December 2016
Collected my iron tablets. Did a food shop.
Can’t really remember what else I did.
I reached my Weightloss goal.
Back in to healthy weight.
Went in the sea.
Got a new tattoo.
Had no admittance to hospital, or psych ward.
Saved a lamb from running away.
Went to a shop on my own.
Tinkbell my cat more cuddly.
I got new glasses.
Got my driving licence back.
Got a car.
Achieved a month of 5000 steps minimum.
Been more active and going to gym.
Gave a lot of clothes to charity.
Saw massive dominos fall down.
Had my hair cut at hairdressers.
Did a British heart foundation sponcered mile a day for a month.
Hand making presents for family.
Went to an award ceremony for my sister.
Did a blog post for every day of they year.
Saw a shooting star.
Made ballon models
2016 was an okay year, learnt a lot about myself in therapy, and on a medication which seems to be helping me. I achieved a lot of things I didn’t even think about at the beginning of the year. I’ve got a lot of things I’m not looking forward to in the year of 2017, but I will approach it with open arms, here’s to a good new year. Happy new year to my followers.
I have loads of scars, most all self inflicted injuries. But I don’t feel comfortable enough to wear a short sleeve top in front of my family. I wish I did sometimes. I have younger sisters and I’m worried what they would think. I’m worried it may give them ideas. I hardly wear short sleeves any more and if I do I wear a jumper over it. I wish I didn’t have to. Sometimes I see my scars as my battle wounds and other times I wish I didn’t have them. It’s very difficult. One day I hope they will have faded enough for me to wear short sleeves and not worry about them.
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Wednesday 28th December 2016
Today things feel like there getting a bit more normal, I feel better physically and feel like I’m finial getting over my cold and headaches. Off to the shops today to see what I can do for the baby fish I’ve caught, to see how to look after them properly. Hopefully they survive. 
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Tuesday 27th December 2016
Woke up feeling really ill, massive headache and feeling sick. Was meant to be looking at a car but didn’t go as dad doesn’t think it’s the right one. Had a little nap and feel much better. Now thinking of going to my parents to spend some time there. It’s my nans birthday who is no longer here, I miss her a lot.
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Monday 26th December 2016
Was meant to be going to a beach but went to see my family. Played a game with my little sister. Went for a drive and on the place were I was going to walk saw something that wasn’t very nice. Still feeling shook up from it. Watched a tv program which made me laugh.
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Sunday 25th December 2016
Had a really emotional day, not sure how I feel about it, was really suicidal and kept crying, was too much for me.
💫 Rosie’s Mental Health Journey 💫 