Things are horrible at the moment,
I’m feeling really low
I’m feeling unwanted
I’m feeling sleepy and I hate that
I’m really fat and I hate my self so much
I’m trying to loose weight but it’s not working
I’m trying not to harm so I can wear shorts and T-shirt in summer with out new scars.
I pulled half my eyebrow off with a face mask and now I look even more stupid
I’m hearing voices that are being very critical towards me
I’m having nightmares every night
I wish I could go out but I’m too scared to alone
I’m very isolated from my family, they never reply to my texts
I’m not living I’m barely surviving
So what’s the point in trying.
I’m not sure why but I’m feeling really low.
I don’t think anyone actually wants me to be alive.
I feel so alone
I can’t make any decision for myself.
It’s my life I will do what I want!
So why are you all trying to control me!
You will all loose out, I will take control and do what I want to.
I’m not being selfish I just want to be able to live my life how I choose to and make my own decisions.
This is what I wrote when I found out I had a mental health act assessment the next day. I was very angry.
This was a day before I was told I was having a mental health act assessment.
This could have lead to me being sectioned.
But I think I did well, I did lie.
I know the mental health assessment like the back of my hand, I know what I should and shouldn’t say.
I was going for my last blood test for coming off clozapine, and this beautiful cat was outside the hospital. It was very friendly.
I got these beautiful alpaca things when I went to visit an alpaca farm. They had 103 alpacas.
I love alpacas so much.
I was very lucky to be able to feed them and stroke them. They were so friendly.
Had a long walk but it was worth If for such a beautiful waterfall.
I had sorted out all my medication it to it’s own boxes.
I feel it’s a bit more in control and relaxed that it’s all done and there.