I wasn’t good enough for you,
Never made the right decision,
Wasn’t nice enough,
All I was trying to do was to do the right thing for you,
BECAUSE I CARED!
But it’s ok……….
I won’t be here anymore, for any of this!
I can’t take anymore!
End of!!!!
I think it’s time,
I can’t do this anymore.
I’ve Truly had enough!
I’m so scared!
What should I do? Where do I go?
I hate this!
Thank you for getting me here!
X
I feel so alone and scared.
I don’t know bc what I’ve done wrong for my sister to not want to spend time with me, last week she was messaging me and seeing me loads, what’s changed?
I just want to go back to old habits.
I feel so lost.
I’m struggling with feeling everything I think or do is being monitored and tracked.
I’m so paranoid.
The voices are really distressing me.
The self harm thoughts are increasing.
My weight is going up and not down!
I’ve got so much I need to do but feel like I’m loosing the will to live, let alone do anything that needs doing!
I hate myself, and I hate how things are right now!
Picture of my cat, just to try to cheer me up.
I’ve done it, but not in a good way! I’ve hit obese with my weight!
I’ve never been more angry at myself!
I’m disgusted!
I gained a stone in one month!!!!!
I know I was in hospital but that’s no excuse!
I hate myself!
So today is the day I start to loose all of that and as fast as possible.
I will stick to this plan. I have NO choice!
I will
I knew I was finding things harder, like bending down, moving, doing daily activities.
But I never knew or guessed I was this fat!
Honestly how stupid am I!
Not sure I can do this!
Had an ok week, I spent a lot of time with my sister and niece.
But I’ve also been supper unmotivated.
I’ve done no house work, even though I know I really need too.
I’m so anxious right now.
I’ve got so much going on in my mind!
I’m struggling to cope.
I haven’t even been out of hospital a week but I’m struggling so much.
How can I hold on?
How do you get motivation, how do I start living my life and doing things!
I want to tidy, I want to unpack, there’s is lots of things I want to do but I can’t seem to move off this bed.
Why?
No discharge letter or plan
No clear idea of when to collect my medication
No clear idea what’s happening at all.
I tried talking to the staff and ask them what’s going on but they just got really huffy and turned and walked away from me!
So rude, I feel really rubbish now.
But I’m out!
I’m terrified, am I ready?
This was a horrible admission!
I will do an in-depth post of my stay on another post.
Love to you all.
💫 Rosie’s Mental Health Journey 💫 