Things are really tough.
I’ve stopped my antipsychotic again.
Seriously self harmed which has left me feeling awful still days later.
My care team have no idea.
I hate my body so much I’ve started taking diet pills.
I’m scared about slot of things right now. I’m not sure I want to live but if I do choose to live I want to live a life off medication, helping others, being healthy and skinny, I’d like to be nice and have a family I can look after and put first.
But right now I’m so torn, how do I get that good life?
What do I do to be happy?
I would love so much to be “normal” and get up to look after a family and then have an amazing job working with alpacas and children with special needs.
I need this good motivation to stay.
I’m scared to go to sleep in case I wake up and it’s gone.
I’m sorry to all the people I have hurt, I really do love you and will make it up to you!
Ok I better wake up and get on with living this amazing life. I can do this!!!!!