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Truthful update.

Sorry about lack of post, I’m struggling!

⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️

I’m worried about so many things…

  • I worried I’m not good enough for anyone,
  • That I will never achieve the life I want,
  • My weight, being so high.
  • A guy telling me I’m fat, I know I’m fat but being told it is painful!
  • About getting the coronavirus,
  • worried I will never have a family, children,
  • Worried the job won’t go through, like something go wrong,
  • That I don’t do good enough for mums 50th or Mother’s Day,
  • That I should have put more effort in to dads 50th,
  • That I’m going to relapse in to self harm or alcohol,
  • That I might crash my car,
  • That I feel sleepy but don’t feel like I’m getting enough sleep,
  • About money, I am so lost,
  • About how I look,
  • About not finishing my nieces scrap book for her birthday!
  • I will never be good at life or living!
  • I’m a failure!!!!!

So if you got to the bottom of all of that you deserve a medal. 🥇

What can I do to help all these worries? I’m so lost! XxX

5 replies on “Truthful update.”

Sweetheart, first off someone insulting you, ie saying you’re fat, shows an incredible lack of humanity on him – therefore he is not worthy of your time and emotion, he is shit on the floor!
You’re trying to find your way with your weight, as you are with your mental health too, you will succeed, even if it takes you longer than you want (and to be honest, I’m now 45 and could have/should have done more much earlier 🙂)
We can’t please everyone around us, I was 30ish before I realised this, and found my life much more content when I stopped trying.
You are very good at living, you succeed every single day, I know this because you are still here no matter how hard things feel for you, so you are a fighter and successful.
Money can be awful to manage, try finding out from your bank or a family member or friend, if someone can sit down with you and help you manage your money. That can take s lot of stress away from you.
Think about one simple thing you would like to do, and I mean simple, not hard like weight loss, maybe a promise to yourself to watch a sunrise in the next couple of days, and then try and keep that lovely promise to yourself.
I’m sure you look lovely, but it’s hard to see that in ourselves, so before you go to bed, have a good hard look at yourself, and find something you like! Maybe the colour of your eyes, or the shape of your nose, anything. I quite like my hands 😄.

Liked by 1 person

You can’t change what’s happened, so there’s no point in worrying about your dads gift.
We will never be enough or good enough for everyone, so all you can do is try your best, and then learn to accept and appreciate your efforts.
You are strong, you have had to be, you might relapse, but as hard as it is, you can try to chose not to.
Familys are hard work, but with some self appreciation and healing, you can, one day, be in a position where your own family can be on the cards.
Rather than thinking about your nieces scrapbook as a chore, make yourself a nice cuppa and try and see it as a fun project 🙂
This is something I used to tell me daughter “don’t give up today because you don’t know how beautiful the sunrise tomorrow will be” she’s got it tattooed on her leg now, on the back of her calf so she can’t see it easily 😂

Liked by 1 person

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