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Is this good for my mental health living back at my family home.

I’ve moved to my family home for a while while the lock down is on.

I feel lonely at my flat, I was struggling with my mental health and to keep myself safe but, at my parents I feel just as bad but sometimes worse sometimes better. But either way right now there is no good choice.

I’m struggling so much with

  • disorder eating thoughts,
  • anxiety,
  • ocd thoughts,
  • the voices, although Gods talking to me is reassuring,
  • Suicidal thoughts,
  • self harm.

I’m struggling with a lot.

I’m not sure what to do to help.

I’ve tried…

  • Sticking to healthy eating,
  • Drinking less alcohol, although I find sometimes drinking alcohol helps,
  • Using things in my self soothe box,
  • Calling the mental health team,
  • Using the prn I was given,
  • Using cbd oil,
  • Relaxation playlist on Spotify,
  • Podcasts on relaxation and breathing,
  • Yoga

Is there anything else I can try, I’m seriously struggling and and help would be appreciated?

What I need to do while I’m at my parents is…

  • Ignore the negative comments,
  • Ignore the negative behaviour,
  • Ignore the sarcastic comments and faces,
  • Ignore the attention seeking behaviour from others around me.

Things will be tough while I’m here but it’s ok, it won’t be forever, I need to remember that.

I can survive this rough patch.

I need to breathe.
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Review on the decade. All the good and bad!

Not in any order!

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Self harm, inpatient, suicide attempts, rape,

  • Got a niece,
  • Turned 18
  • Passed my driving test
  • Was sectioned for the first time, so many times after
  • Had my first blood transfusion
  • Was anorexic now obese!
  • Got my own place
  • Was raped
  • Got three cats
  • Being put on antipsychotics
  • First alcohol drink
  • First holiday without parents
  • Sister got married
  • Got my first silicone baby, Dylan
  • Started this blog
  • Been able to eat in-front of people and public
  • Got closer to extended family
  • Been to Ireland
  • Officially got diagnosed with mental health, -schizophrenia, -emotionally unstable personality disorder, -anxiety, -anorexia, -depression, -ocd,
  • Had a seizure
  • Done two dance shows
  • Became a God mother
  • Went to Florida with my family
  • Seen many waterfalls
  • Seen, p!nk, the script, Ed Sheeran, Jess Glynne,
  • Got 6 tattoos
  • Dyed my hair purple

My favourite photos from the last decade…

Cake I made for my sisters 25th birthday.

Had dinner on the beach and watched the sunset!

First ever time being handcuffed, hopefully the last!

It wasn’t an arrest, I had done nothing wrong, it was for my safety and to stop me running away!

Tinker bell my second cat as a kitten!

Tiger my first cat and tinker bell cuddling!

Tiger and a cat I looked after for a bit, called Pepsi!

Tigers first car ride to pets @ home! He was so good!

Feeding alpacas!

One day worth of pills!

Overdose treatment!

Sectioned, unfortunately not the last time!

Taylor my youngest cat, now 4 years old!

Tinker bell thinking of getting in the path with me.

My favourite waterfall!

Tiger and tinker bell cuddling!

Waterfall!

Taylor!

Taylor sleeping on me!

Tinker bell!

All three of my cats together!

Dylan my first silicone baby!

My most recent hospital section a month ago!

So I guess that concludes the end of a decade for me! 2010-2020!

It’s been a rollercoaster of ups and downs!

Reached times in my life I thought I was going to die! But some how I survived, but this next decade I’m determined too live not just survive!

I know it’s cliche but I will make this year count!

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Mental health update.

So I haven’t done a proper mental health update for a while and as it’s coming to the end of the year I’m going too do an update.

I have been sectioned twice in the last few months. I’m now out of hospital after a pretty traumatic time in there!

Since coming out of hospital I’ve stopped my medication.

I’ve put on three stone since being inpatient and put on medication.

I was eating all the foods I fancied and this made me gain so much weight so quickly as well as basically sat on my bed all day everyday. Also put back on too antipsychotic medication.

So since I’ve came out of hospital I weighed myself and I was so shocked! I’ve started diet pills and my gp referred me to slimming world which I start tomorrow.

I’ve stopped the antipsychotic medication and I’m currently doing ok. I’m going to my meetings, keeping myself active everyday and trying to push though all the bad thoughts and voices!

I went too a private Therapist to start therapy but I’ve decided I want to wait a bit. I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about my past and trauma, even though I feel it’s holding me back!

Unfortunately I’ve started drinking too much Alcohol. This is probably not helping with my weight!

I’m looking forward to Christmas this year! I’m trying to make it a brilliant time for my family! I know it’s going to be really tricky and I’m going to get upset with my mums behaviour, but I want to make my family happy so I’m going to try my best to stay strong!

I’m really trying so hard to get along with my Family!

So I guess that’s where I’m up too!

I hope you all have a good Christmas and stay safe!

I’m here for anyone if you want to talk or struggling!

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Alcohol Mental health

Alcohol breathaliser

This is my breathaliser to tell you how much alcohol you have consumed.

This is my result, I hadn’t drank at all and it says my alcohol level is too high and I can’t drive.

I think it’s broken.

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Alcohol Health healthy Medication Mental health

Hopefully last cocktail.

I need to focus on my weight and body. I need to try not to drink alcohol.

It was yummy but was my first hangover in years.

My weight is more important to me now and the medication I am taking to have it’s full effects.

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Alcohol Mental health

Bye bye alcohol…

I’ve been drinking way too much alcohol trying to help my mental health. The voices and anxiety. It’s day three, and I feel so much better from it.

Bye bye alcohol.

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Alcohol Mental health

Cocktail.

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Weight

My weight has gone in to the 149, I’ve been in 150lbs for ages! I can do this,any support welcome.

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I did it… no alcohol

I’ve been using alcohol as a subtropical hell me feel better. But a week later of no alcohol, I feel great.

I’m proud that I did it.

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Alcohol Mental health

I want yesterday to be the Last day drinking

I have a love hate relationship with alcohol. I love alcohol for the relaxation and break it gives me from life. ButIt makes me have too many more calories, which makes me fatter and gain weight.