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Mental health update.

So I haven’t done a proper mental health update for a while and as it’s coming to the end of the year I’m going too do an update.

I have been sectioned twice in the last few months. I’m now out of hospital after a pretty traumatic time in there!

Since coming out of hospital I’ve stopped my medication.

I’ve put on three stone since being inpatient and put on medication.

I was eating all the foods I fancied and this made me gain so much weight so quickly as well as basically sat on my bed all day everyday. Also put back on too antipsychotic medication.

So since I’ve came out of hospital I weighed myself and I was so shocked! I’ve started diet pills and my gp referred me to slimming world which I start tomorrow.

I’ve stopped the antipsychotic medication and I’m currently doing ok. I’m going to my meetings, keeping myself active everyday and trying to push though all the bad thoughts and voices!

I went too a private Therapist to start therapy but I’ve decided I want to wait a bit. I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about my past and trauma, even though I feel it’s holding me back!

Unfortunately I’ve started drinking too much Alcohol. This is probably not helping with my weight!

I’m looking forward to Christmas this year! I’m trying to make it a brilliant time for my family! I know it’s going to be really tricky and I’m going to get upset with my mums behaviour, but I want to make my family happy so I’m going to try my best to stay strong!

I’m really trying so hard to get along with my Family!

So I guess that’s where I’m up too!

I hope you all have a good Christmas and stay safe!

I’m here for anyone if you want to talk or struggling!

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Beautiful beach

We’ve arrived on holiday.

I’m with my mum, dad, youngest sister and her friend.

The journey wasn’t too bad. I’m getting on so well with them all so far.

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Fishing lake and duckling.

Dad and I went for a walk to explore the campsite.

We found a fishing lake, which brought back so many memories of spending time with him fishing when I was younger.

And the beautiful ducklings. They were so fluffy.

It was so relaxing.

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Dad did my wallpaper.

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Chat with dad.

I had a chat with dad today. It was a really nice chat and we don’t do it enough.

I’m so grateful for my dads support and help he gives me.

My Dad said my illnesses and admitted I had an illness, this was a massive step. My parents have always gone round the fact I suffer with mental illness.

I love my parents and I’m so grateful that my dad was able to give me the time and thought today.

I hope that there’s more to come.

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Christmas lights?

My family always put up Christmas lights out side the house, we all love seeing them so why don’t we help dad put them up?

There’s enough of us to help him get it done really quick and then, dad won’t be out in the cold for hours.

I think dad is feeling the same this year, because they have just been left up from last year.

We don’t support or help him enough,

I’m sure they will look as good next year, just as they did last year.

Christmas lights,🎅🏼❄️☃️🛷

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Invited to dinner with my family.

My dad texted me inviting me to a meal with them, this is just how things are now, I don’t feel welcome around there without an invite.

It brightened my day he even came and picked me up. Had a lovely time with them.

I haven’t had a roast since last Christmas, so 10 months. I really enjoyed it and dad was happy to see a clean plate from me, as the times I’ve eaten over there I’ve either been in the grips of anorexia or thinking my food has been poisoned.

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Dear mum

I want to make you proud.

I’m never good enough and you don’t make them effort to spend time with me or even talk to me, even though you do to my sisters.

I feel I will never be good enough for you.

I think it’s because of my mental illness, I know your embarrassed of me.

I’m so sorry.

Dad Mental health

Happy 50th Birthday Dad. 

Today my dad is 50 years old. 

I'm at my parents house, it's my dads 50th Birthday. This is a big deal to me, and it's not going perfectly. I'm struggling. 

I can't wait to give him his gift and I so want a photo with him. I hope he doesn't say no. I'm really scared to ask him. 

Mum messing him around and making it a big deal about her, 

Can she not just let dad have one day to himself.

That was wrote two weeks ago on his birthday but didn't get round to publishing it. In the end it went really well he like his presents, we planted the rose together and I managed to have a photo with him. It's a photo that looking at it brings me happiness. I love you dad. Hope you had s good birthday.

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How I think my parents sees me being in the psychiatric hospital? 

Today I’ve been in an acute psychiatric hospital for a week. I’ve been in this hospital and some others many times, but it doesn’t make it any easier, especially when your parents don’t support you. 

Today my dad sent me a text saying that all he wants for his birthday is for me to be out of hospital. Switch it round for a second if I had cancer like my sister did he wouldn’t want to rush me out of the hospital. So why is it so different in a mental hospital. 

I’m in a psychiatric hospital not a prison and it’s not a punishment, I’m here to get better because I became more unwell. Where do you go when you feel unwell, to the doctors or hospital, that’s what’s happened to me.