Category: Food

How inpatient is going.

I’ve been in hospital nearly 3 weeks now.

There has been lots of tears, restraints, injections, prn, and anxiety but I’m starting to feel better.

Last Tuesday they decided they were going to give me the depot of haloperidol instead of the daily injections that were causing me so much distress.

It’s only 4 days after and I feel a difference already, the voices have died down, I’m no longer following there commands about harming myself or not eating.

I hadn’t eaten in 2 and a half weeks due to the voices telling me the food was poisoned, but since the depot I’ve managed to start eating, i did loose 20 lbs in the weeks that I wasn’t eating, I am scared that now I’m going to put all that weight back on but now I’ve got an even bigger reason to loose as much weight as I can now.

I had appealed my section called a Tribunal but I didn’t win it as I’m still here. It was horrible listening to them all talk about me and what’s wrong with me and why I’m not safe. An because of covid we were all on the phone, so we couldn’t see each other. Anyway I lost and I’m still here under section 2.

I have had a lot of falling out with my family since being in here, I hate the fact that they go behind my back to get information about me and my care when it clearly states on my notes not to share any information with them. Why should I? They never tell me when my team have been in touch with them. It’s horrible knowing everyone is going behind my back, it’s my cate talk to me!!!!

Ward round went well on Thursday, the consultant said I can be discharged this week coming. Which I’m happy about but I don’t think it’s going to be as simple as waking up tomorrow, packing and walking out the door, they have been talking about a CTO, which would mean I have to have another mental health act assessment and put on section 3 just to be put on a CTO.

My understanding of the CTO is that if I refuse the depot or mental health declines than I can be brought back in to hospital under section 3 automatically. Which is scary.

On Friday I went on my first escorted leave since arriving nearly 3 weeks ago. It was so nice to get out, the rain stopped for us and a nurse that I trust and get on well with took me. We had a really good chat. She also supported me to get my first meal here. Which I’m so great full for.

The occupational therapist spent some one to one time with me and she painted my nails. Gave me a sheet to colour and a puzzle to do in my room.

So as it stands now. I’m hopefully going home one day this week, I hope it’s really soon as I can’t wait to see my cats, sleep in my own bed and have a shave.

It’s amazing the difference one medication can make. I feel like a different person.

I will admit I didn’t realise I’ve been here this long, and luckily I don’t remember much about the distressing times.

Hopefully I will be home soon and back on the life I want to lead.

family Food Mental health

Mum brought me dinner over.

Post author By rosiestar11
Post date May 25, 2020
No Comments on Mum brought me dinner over.

My carer isn’t around at the moment, I’m not sure if it’s a break from me or for ever.

But I haven’t been eating well.

My mum made me dinner and brought it over social distancing of course.

Thank you mum. Xx

Tags Anxiety, Emotionally unstable personality disorder, family, help, Mental health, mental illness, Personality disorder, Schizophrenia, self care, support.

Alcohol Anxiety blogger borderline personality disorder bpd coronavirus Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions family Food Future God hallucinations Health Medication Mental health mental health blogger Personality disorder psychosis Schizophrenia self harm Support worker Voices weight loss yoga

Is this good for my mental health living back at my family home.

Post author By rosiestar11
Post date April 27, 2020
No Comments on Is this good for my mental health living back at my family home.

I’ve moved to my family home for a while while the lock down is on.

I feel lonely at my flat, I was struggling with my mental health and to keep myself safe but, at my parents I feel just as bad but sometimes worse sometimes better. But either way right now there is no good choice.

I’m struggling so much with

disorder eating thoughts,
anxiety,
ocd thoughts,
the voices, although Gods talking to me is reassuring,
Suicidal thoughts,
self harm.

I’m struggling with a lot.

I’m not sure what to do to help.

I’ve tried…

Sticking to healthy eating,
Drinking less alcohol, although I find sometimes drinking alcohol helps,
Using things in my self soothe box,
Calling the mental health team,
Using the prn I was given,
Using cbd oil,
Relaxation playlist on Spotify,
Podcasts on relaxation and breathing,
Yoga

Is there anything else I can try, I’m seriously struggling and and help would be appreciated?

What I need to do while I’m at my parents is…

Ignore the negative comments,
Ignore the negative behaviour,
Ignore the sarcastic comments and faces,
Ignore the attention seeking behaviour from others around me.

Things will be tough while I’m here but it’s ok, it won’t be forever, I need to remember that.

I can survive this rough patch.

anorexia blogger diet exercise Food Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Weight weight loss weightloss

Weight loss plan.

So I need to loose weight and quickly. For me. Not for anything specific.

I’m not really too bothered about healthy WeightLoss, just need a lot and quick

I’m already taking 2 types of diet pills.

I’ve started drinking water a lot about 2 litres of water a day, is that enough?

My usual day is all charted on MyFitnessPal or fit bit apps. But I aim for 1,200 kcal. Is that too much?

I drink about 2 litres of Pepsi max or Diet Pepsi everyday.

I don’t have a plan for meal but I eat lunch and dinner with a late night snack. Should I change this?

I really need some guidance, since moving back in with my parents I’m finding it difficult with food and drinking too much fluid but I’m hoping this can help me get to my weight loss target, which is a loss of 73lbs. I have smaller targets in between but that’s my ultimate goal.

Exercise wise I’m making sure I walk as much as I can inside with out looking suspicious or the opposite lazy.

I weigh myself everyday when I go home.