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Mental health update.

So I haven’t done a proper mental health update for a while and as it’s coming to the end of the year I’m going too do an update.

I have been sectioned twice in the last few months. I’m now out of hospital after a pretty traumatic time in there!

Since coming out of hospital I’ve stopped my medication.

I’ve put on three stone since being inpatient and put on medication.

I was eating all the foods I fancied and this made me gain so much weight so quickly as well as basically sat on my bed all day everyday. Also put back on too antipsychotic medication.

So since I’ve came out of hospital I weighed myself and I was so shocked! I’ve started diet pills and my gp referred me to slimming world which I start tomorrow.

I’ve stopped the antipsychotic medication and I’m currently doing ok. I’m going to my meetings, keeping myself active everyday and trying to push though all the bad thoughts and voices!

I went too a private Therapist to start therapy but I’ve decided I want to wait a bit. I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about my past and trauma, even though I feel it’s holding me back!

Unfortunately I’ve started drinking too much Alcohol. This is probably not helping with my weight!

I’m looking forward to Christmas this year! I’m trying to make it a brilliant time for my family! I know it’s going to be really tricky and I’m going to get upset with my mums behaviour, but I want to make my family happy so I’m going to try my best to stay strong!

I’m really trying so hard to get along with my Family!

So I guess that’s where I’m up too!

I hope you all have a good Christmas and stay safe!

I’m here for anyone if you want to talk or struggling!

family Mental health Sisters

Will I ever be a good big sister?


Mention of self harm and suicide!

I’m the oldest of us four girls.

I was never a good big sister growing up.

My mental health got in the way of that.

Instead of looking after my sisters and being a good role model, I was harming, not eating and attempting suicide nearly ever other day.

I wish I was there for them, but now they all seem to be getting along so well without me.

I feel so left out.

They all talk to each other, and do things together and then there is me who tries to fit in but it’s obvious I’m an outsider!

How can I fit in more? What can I do to be the big sister and role model that I wish I was!

I hate who I have become. I need to be a better person!

Most of the time I feel things would be best for them if I wasn’t here or getting in the way.

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Costa time with the sister.

beach i did it Mental health Sisters

Very choppy, but I still got in.

Went for a walk with mum while I was on holiday.

We went too the sea which was a two minute walk from where we were staying in the camper.

It was so choppy. My little sister was scared of it, so I took my shoes off and went and stood by it to prove it was fine.


I got soaked, I was in my clothes. My jeans got so wet so I decided to just get in.

Not the best idea I’ve had but not the worst.

It worked though, she was laughing and no longer scared.

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Beautiful beach

We’ve arrived on holiday.

I’m with my mum, dad, youngest sister and her friend.

The journey wasn’t too bad. I’m getting on so well with them all so far.

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“You’ve lost weight but it’s not enough to notice!”

I’ve just been told this!

I went out with my sister and niece/ God daughter to a play group.

It was good I haven’t seen them in two weeks so she hasn’t seen me in about two weeks. I’ve lost a fair amount of weight In that time.

What I heard in my head is her saying…

“You’ve lost a little weight but your still hugh! Your fat and need to loose more.”

She didn’t say that but I guess that’s what I want to hear to fule my obsession about loosing weight it gives me an extra motivation.

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I know, I shouldn’t have!

I was with family and I really wanted to spend time with them, I didn’t want to leave. So I ate dinner with them.

I hate myself for eating but my sister already worries about my eating and she is only 11.

I don’t want her to grow up with the food issues I had at her age. I was suffering with anorexia at the age of 11. It took years of my life. I was still 18 and suffering.

It was nearly impossible to eat in-front of people, well really eat at all.

I’m now 26 and i still have eating issues.

I no longer have anorexia,

I’m very fat now and I’m trying to loose weight but the old ways of how to loose it is starting to take over!

I keep telling myself it’s ok to eat.

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Why, it’s not fair.

I was playing with my niece and sister and we were play hide and seek

My mum then took over and it made me upset. There was no need mum always and takes over!

Why dose she always take over.

Why does she always want to take over.

I was having fun. Why?

family Mental health Sisters


Wow my sister who I think hates me answered the phone and we had a chat feel good about that.

Progress 😘

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Play group

I went to a play group with my niece/ god daughter today.

It was really good to get out the house and spend time with them.

Thank you to my sister for inviting Me hunny