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Blood test-NO!

The mental health team want me to have a blood test, and other physical health checks, but NO!!!

I know they just want the data and results and my dna to clone me! I know what they are up too!

I know I’ve lost a lot of blood over the last few weeks and I’m probably anemic. But I am not having a blood test to find out!

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Skydive, and anemia.

When I came out of hospital and off my section, I said to myself, I will do a sky dive to feel alive and free.
This is turning out to be complicated as there's a fair amount of paper worries. And work on my body. I need to have normal blood results but I've very anemic levels of blood.

Iron tablets, I try to take but the does I'm prescribed makes me feel really odd, and especially sick, I hate the task it makes me taste.

So it looks like I've got a little bit further to get up to a healthy range.

I'm trying my best.

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Trainers.

I brought some new shoes today, two of them are to help me train for the marathon. I’m going to keep one pair for when I go out for a runs and walks. And the other pair for when I go I the gym. I’m hoping this is going to motivate me to get moving. I need to start putting more effort in and challenge myself. I’m finding this so difficult because I’m feeling so weak and ill right now. I want to be feeling better and fight for this happy healthy life I know I could have one day. 

And one pair to go with my everyday outfit, which will hopefully make me feel better with how I look and feel. I’m hoping I can try and get out more. I need to take my anxiety and my fears and worries and takes them head on. 

I feel guilty that I brought them for myself but hopefully it won’t be selfish if I get to run the marathon and raise vital funds for a worthy charity. Then I will look back on this day and blog post and be greatful I got them. They give me the opportunity to help others. 

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Signed up to do the marathon.

I was meant to post this on the 1st of may but I keep putting it off. I’m not sure why. 

I signed up to the London marathon for next year. I’m very unfit and feeling really unwell at the moment. But the plan is by this time next year I can run a marathon. 

I need to have a training plan. And nutritional plan. I know I need to look after my body physically and mentally. 

I know I only have a one in ten chance of getting in, but I’m hoping to get to a physically and mentally better in a year. This is probably going to be the biggest challenge I’ve ever undertaken.

I’m motivate to try and do this. I’m not going to see it as a failure if I don’t get in, because I’m hoping by having the mind set of that I might being doing it, is going to give me the motivation to get healthier and fitter.