Categories
Anxiety Doctors Emotionally unstable personality disorder Mental health Mental health act mental health blogger Personality disorder psychiatrist scared

Couldn’t be more angry.

I can’t make any decision for myself.

It’s my life I will do what I want!

So why are you all trying to control me!

You will all loose out, I will take control and do what I want to.

I’m not being selfish I just want to be able to live my life how I choose to and make my own decisions.

This is what I wrote when I found out I had a mental health act assessment the next day. I was very angry.

Categories
family Mental health Sisters

Why, it’s not fair.

I was playing with my niece and sister and we were play hide and seek

My mum then took over and it made me upset. There was no need mum always and takes over!

Why dose she always take over.

Why does she always want to take over.

I was having fun. Why?

Categories
Anxiety Cats Diary Emotionally unstable personality disorder Health Medication Mental health Personality disorder Schizophrenia Uncategorized Voices

Last night.

Last night I had a disagreement with a family member. I got really upset and worked up. When I thought all I was trying to do was help. Anyway I got myself so worked up I smashed my head on the wall as hard as possible repeatedly. The weird thing is I felt no pain. Anyway I told the family member to leave. And I was still crying and I’m such a state of anger, I tried calming myself down but I couldn’t. So I fed the cats, grabbed loads of warm clothes, drinks, and medication. You n the view of going for a drive and overdosing. Grabed for my car keys and jumped in. I started driving with no destination. I went around In a few circles, not being able to decide where to go. I was low on fule and needed to fill up, so I drove in to the nearest garage and filled up, I’ve never done that before. Firstly going out alone and secondly in then to fill up my car. I was so worked up about what had happen all anxiety and worry went out the window. In matter of fact I couldn’t have cared less what happened. I found a nice place to sit and watch fireworks, and tried to calm myself down. I managed to, I then drove back home after 2 hours, I got really scared with fireworks being set off both sides of where I live, so I parked my car down the road, and went and sat with my cats. 

What a emotional night!