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God is my protector!!

They have no idea.

My parents aren’t my next of kin they can’t call them and tell them anything!

God is my next of kin!

They are so far away from me!

Don’t try and say sorry because you have no idea what the voices are telling me about you!

I’m better off keeping all this too myself!

God is my protector!

God will protect me! I believe in you!

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My last clozapine tablet.

I was on clozapine for just over a year. I put 3 stone in this time. I’m currently trying to lose the weight but I’ve changed my antipsychotic medication to quetiapine. I’ve been on quetiapine before and it worked well for me but I’m on a really high dose. I know one of the side effects of quetiapine is weight gain but I’m going to try my hardest to loose the weight. Since changing I seem to have more energy and I’m sleeping less.

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I’ve finished the titration!!!!

I’m so glad it’s over.

I was changing from clozapine to quetiapine which I’ve been on before.

I was changing because I hated the blood tests for clozapine and I had some horrible side effects.

  • I’m now on
    • 900mg of quetiapine,
      600mg pregabline,
      2mg diazepam,
      100mg lamotrogine,
      1000mg Metaformin,
      5mg procycladine,
      25mg promethazine,

    Which is rather a lot to take!

    I’m feeling a lot better than I have felt.

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    clozapine hallucinations Medication Mental health Voices

    Medication time

    Medication time. Clozapine to quetiapine.

    Anyone have any stories on quetiapine I would love to hear them.

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    Day 9 on titration clozapine to quetiapine!

    Had an appointment with my care co-ordinated, psychiatrist and a nurse about my symptoms and medication. They have decided to slow the clozapine down as I’m experiencing side effects, like the spying and voices. I’m really not happy with this but at least the quetiapine is continue to increase daily.

    I’m at the sanctuary now ready for a spiritual session. Which went really well, there was a lot of people so I was very uncomfortable but the reverent was very reassuring and helped me through it. I just picked up the medication from the reception at the mental health hospital. I wish things went the way I want them too.

    I’ve decided that I’m refusing the blood test next week, to do with me clozapine. Hopefully that means they will have to stop it. But the reason I am refusing it is because I’m afraid of the staff taking my dna from the blood test. I’m scared about what may happen.

    I’m struggling, why are they spying on me and why are the voices really bad. I’m scared.

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    Who do I turn too… literally

    Turn to in person about the spying-

    I wanted to call the police but is it an emergency? How would I prove it?

    Or

    Turn to see who is following me. –

    They kept going up and down the road that I was walking on to get home. This is real, why does no body believe me?

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    Clozapine blood check.

    I’m glad it’s only two weekly instead of every week which it was at the beginning.

    It’s hard from them to get blood from me. I have to direct them what angel to put the needle in.

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    clozapine Mental health

    Clozapine too high

    My levels of clozapine has come back too high, so I had to have an extra blood test today.

    It’s been sent to London, as a go the nurse said we could take them to London our selves and have a day out.

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    Anxiety blogger clozapine Cpn Daily update delusions Emotionally unstable personality disorder hallucinations hospital Medication Mental health mental health blogger Personality disorder psychiatrist psychosis Schizophrenia Support worker

    Psychiatrist appointment update.

    Today i had my 3 months review with my psychiatrist at the local mental health hospital.

    I was so scared. I was meant to be meeting my new cpn. That’s for another blog post.

    My cpn, support worker, carer and psychiatrist were all in the one rooks, it was very intimidated. I didn’t really know what to say.

    They always want to talk about the spying and my feelings around that. It confuses me because i do see how that is relevant. I know they say it’s because i have an illness that makes me thing these kind of things.

    Anyway my clozapine is being increase to 150 mg morning and around 2pm, and then 200mg before bed.

    I will still be taking 600mg daily of pregabline, and the medications for my physical health.

    Anyway I’m note really sure what was said and that. I’m so there was said and i cant remember much.

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    I was brave.

    Today I had to go to my local mental health hospital to collect medication. Normally I walk but today I have my car so I was able to drive there.

    I did it.

    I drove there, parked, got a ticket, walked in all on my own.

    I can’t quite believe it.