Tag: control

Categories
Mental health

I hate being told what I can and can’t do with my life, but why do I need reassurance and someone to decide for me?

I think this all goes back to my upbringing,

It was really really tough

Even now all my sister rely on my mum we have too. I do if too, but I don’t want to any more and I’m going to break the cycle!

I’m getting my own life that doesn’t need to be controlled by anyone!

I’m moving in with my life and I hope I can inspire the girls to do that too!

We got this. I got this!

I’m more than being told what I can and can’t write on a message, I need to think for myself and not need reassurance from anyone.

I will a job and I will have a dragon as a pet if I want too.

Im an adult I can’t make the mistakes and achievements in my life and own them. Being responsible!

I don’t care if she is taking the ckntrol and not showing me the letter, what will it change by reading it.

I don’t think I’m cutting them off I think I am just taking control of my life. I will decide what energy I allow in my life!

Categories
Mental health

I saw him!!!!

I’ve dreaded this day since the day you hurt me. I know there would be the day but not this soon.

I saw you and I know you saw me.

I will not give in to you. I’m scared of you but I don’t want to let that control me or my actions.

Categories
anorexia Anxiety exercise Food i did it Medication Mental health Over weight Overweight Weight weight loss weightloss

1st December… that came along quick.

I’ve got just over a month too loose thee weight. I have to be determined, I won’t loose the weight if I carry on eating and drinking the way I have been. I need to be strong and discipline myself.

I weigh 144.2lbs. I know fat and gross. I will loose this weight.

First good decision was to not have those biscuits this morning. And I’m planning on going to the gym. I can do this.

44 days… Any support will be very much welcomed.

“I believe I can therefore I will!”

Categories
clozapine exercise Food Health healthy Medication Mental health Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Will I gain weight? What I have in place to not gaining weight.

I’m really anxious that I’m going to gain weight. I have already gained some weight and back up to 145pounds.

I’m very upset about this but I know what I need to do.

It could be medication related but I want to try and beat it, so I can continue to loose weight.

I’m being started in clozapine/ clozaril which every webpage says makes you gain weight.

I’ve got to fight against this. So what am I going to do to help myself loose weight….

  • Drink water,
  • Exercise the gym and home,
  • 10,000 steps,
  • Green tea,
  • Not much sugary foods,
  • Control calorie in take,
  • Always burn more than I eat,
  • Keep adding my consumption to MyFitnessPal and paper journal,
  • Push myself to stick to all above.
Categories
Mental health

Sister now left the Group chat I had with all family.

I was making them all aware that I was in hospital, they always moan at me for not telling them so I thought I should.

It makes me feel so rubbish that she can treat me like that?

But I need to remember she is only 16, so still a child and acts like one. I’m just going to give her space. I love her but I know she thinks she controls everyone, I won’t no longer control me.

Rise above it Rosie. Rise above it.