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anorexia Anxiety eating disorder Mental health Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

What I gained from loosing my anorexia!

Trigger warning- anorexia! ⚠️

I gained so much from recovering from my anorexia.

Although I’d say I’m weight restored but I still worry about food and weight so much.

I wish I had my anorexic weight back just so I could feel valid having all the anorexia thoughts.

But I’m the short term I’ve gained that I can actually eat in-front if people, I can eat some full fat foods, I enjoy foods including pasta so much,

But

This all comes with guilt, and worry.

I hate how I look but I’ve never liked how I look. Never!

I want to look nice and thin but will it will it be enough.

I want these thoughts to go away.

I’m not longer diagnosed with anorexia although I think I may have atypical anorexia as my weight is restored but I have so many anorexic traits still to this day, will they ever go?

Will it ever be valid enough?

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anorexia blogger diet exercise Food Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Weight weight loss weightloss

Weight loss plan.

So I need to loose weight and quickly. For me. Not for anything specific.

I’m not really too bothered about healthy WeightLoss, just need a lot and quick

I’m already taking 2 types of diet pills.

I’ve started drinking water a lot about 2 litres of water a day, is that enough?

My usual day is all charted on MyFitnessPal or fit bit apps. But I aim for 1,200 kcal. Is that too much?

I drink about 2 litres of Pepsi max or Diet Pepsi everyday.

I don’t have a plan for meal but I eat lunch and dinner with a late night snack. Should I change this?

I really need some guidance, since moving back in with my parents I’m finding it difficult with food and drinking too much fluid but I’m hoping this can help me get to my weight loss target, which is a loss of 73lbs. I have smaller targets in between but that’s my ultimate goal.

Exercise wise I’m making sure I walk as much as I can inside with out looking suspicious or the opposite lazy.

I weigh myself everyday when I go home.

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Anxiety blogger borderline personality disorder bpd crisis depression Disappointment Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions Future job Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Personality disorder self harm Weight weight loss weightloss

Truthful update.

Sorry about lack of post, I’m struggling!

⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️

I’m worried about so many things…

  • I worried I’m not good enough for anyone,
  • That I will never achieve the life I want,
  • My weight, being so high.
  • A guy telling me I’m fat, I know I’m fat but being told it is painful!
  • About getting the coronavirus,
  • worried I will never have a family, children,
  • Worried the job won’t go through, like something go wrong,
  • That I don’t do good enough for mums 50th or Mother’s Day,
  • That I should have put more effort in to dads 50th,
  • That I’m going to relapse in to self harm or alcohol,
  • That I might crash my car,
  • That I feel sleepy but don’t feel like I’m getting enough sleep,
  • About money, I am so lost,
  • About how I look,
  • About not finishing my nieces scrap book for her birthday!
  • I will never be good at life or living!
  • I’m a failure!!!!!

So if you got to the bottom of all of that you deserve a medal. 🥇

What can I do to help all these worries? I’m so lost! XxX

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diet Mental health weight loss weightloss

Raspberry ketones reviews?

I’ve started taking these to help with weight loss,

Have you tried them?

What’s your opinions and reviews?

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diet Food

Quorn spaghetti bolegnese

Vegetarian Spaghetti Bolognese.

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diet exercise Food Health healthy mental health blogger Over weight Overweight slimming world Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I’ve gained so much weight back in two days! So upset!

I hate myself so much.

I have to loose weight! I have too!

What can u do?

I’ve tried…

  • Slimming world,
  • Diet pills,
  • Fasting,
  • Exercise,
  • lots of water,
  • Healthy eating!

But I always binge, I always gained so much, even more than where I started!

What else can I try?

I’m struggling so much.

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diet Food mental health blogger

Day off plan!

Sweet potato and feta lasagne, with chips.
Chocolate bomb with cream and brownies inside.

Had a day full of comfort foods.

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diet Food Mental health slimming world Weight weight loss weightloss

I had cereal for breakfast! First time in years!

I did it!

I had granola, muller light banana and custard yogurt and a banana.

It was actually nice.

Someone in Holland and Barrett yesterday said having breakfast in the first 30 minutes of waking up increased your metabolism by 30% so it burns more calories through out the day?

Which means you loose weight quicker… is this true????

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Mental health Weight weight loss weightloss

WeightLoss!

I’m still overweight but no longer classed as obese!

Finally going the right direction!

I’ve got far to go but it’s going ok!

I’ve got this!

Ive decided I’m no longer going to do slimming world!

Because…

  • I hate the shaming of being weighed in front of everyone,
  • Get disheartened by seeing that people are saying they have lost a stone in a week,
  • It’s embarrassing everyone talking about how much they have lost, in front of others and seeing how unhappy they are with each other!

I’m still going to loose weight but I’m doing it my own way!

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diet exercise Food Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight slimming world Weight weight loss weightloss

Haven’t eaten in 46 hours.

I hope I loose weight!

My mum is trying to loose weight too.

She claims she lost 4lbs the same as me!!!!

BUT

She is eating so much rubbish, and is not exercising!

I’m trying so hard but feel so disappointed that mum isn’t really trying and is loosing the same as me!

I need to loose more weight!

I have too!!!!!

There has to be hope!