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Is this good for my mental health living back at my family home.

I’ve moved to my family home for a while while the lock down is on.

I feel lonely at my flat, I was struggling with my mental health and to keep myself safe but, at my parents I feel just as bad but sometimes worse sometimes better. But either way right now there is no good choice.

I’m struggling so much with

  • disorder eating thoughts,
  • anxiety,
  • ocd thoughts,
  • the voices, although Gods talking to me is reassuring,
  • Suicidal thoughts,
  • self harm.

I’m struggling with a lot.

I’m not sure what to do to help.

I’ve tried…

  • Sticking to healthy eating,
  • Drinking less alcohol, although I find sometimes drinking alcohol helps,
  • Using things in my self soothe box,
  • Calling the mental health team,
  • Using the prn I was given,
  • Using cbd oil,
  • Relaxation playlist on Spotify,
  • Podcasts on relaxation and breathing,
  • Yoga

Is there anything else I can try, I’m seriously struggling and and help would be appreciated?

What I need to do while I’m at my parents is…

  • Ignore the negative comments,
  • Ignore the negative behaviour,
  • Ignore the sarcastic comments and faces,
  • Ignore the attention seeking behaviour from others around me.

Things will be tough while I’m here but it’s ok, it won’t be forever, I need to remember that.

I can survive this rough patch.

I need to breathe.
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anorexia Anxiety eating disorder Mental health Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

What I gained from loosing my anorexia!

Trigger warning- anorexia! ⚠️

I gained so much from recovering from my anorexia.

Although I’d say I’m weight restored but I still worry about food and weight so much.

I wish I had my anorexic weight back just so I could feel valid having all the anorexia thoughts.

But I’m the short term I’ve gained that I can actually eat in-front if people, I can eat some full fat foods, I enjoy foods including pasta so much,

But

This all comes with guilt, and worry.

I hate how I look but I’ve never liked how I look. Never!

I want to look nice and thin but will it will it be enough.

I want these thoughts to go away.

I’m not longer diagnosed with anorexia although I think I may have atypical anorexia as my weight is restored but I have so many anorexic traits still to this day, will they ever go?

Will it ever be valid enough?

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diet exercise Food Health healthy mental health blogger Over weight Overweight slimming world Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I’ve gained so much weight back in two days! So upset!

I hate myself so much.

I have to loose weight! I have too!

What can u do?

I’ve tried…

  • Slimming world,
  • Diet pills,
  • Fasting,
  • Exercise,
  • lots of water,
  • Healthy eating!

But I always binge, I always gained so much, even more than where I started!

What else can I try?

I’m struggling so much.

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diet exercise Food gym Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

What am I doing wrong?

I’m trying to loose weight, a lot if it and as quickly as possible.

I had 1500kcal yesterday

2 litres of water and

14,000 steps

120 sit ups

Plank

And calculated that I burnt more than I ate

BUT

I hardly lost anything!

I’m hating myself so much right now.

How can I loose weight quicker?

Please helps me!

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diet exercise Food gym Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

What am I doing wrong?

I’m trying to loose weight, a lot if it and as quickly as possible.

I had 1500kcal yesterday

2 litres of water and

14,000 steps

120 sit ups

Plank

And calculated that I burnt more than I ate

BUT

I hardly lost anything!

I’m hating myself so much right now.

How can I loose weight quicker?

Please helps me!

Categories
diet exercise Food gym Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

What am I doing wrong?

I’m trying to loose weight, a lot if it and as quickly as possible.

I had 1500kcal yesterday

2 litres of water and

14,000 steps

120 sit ups

Plank

And calculated that I burnt more than I ate

BUT

I hardly lost anything!

I’m hating myself so much right now.

How can I loose weight quicker?

Please helps me!

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How do I tone belly fat and thighs.

!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!

I’ve been loosing weight and I really need to tone my belly fat and thighs.

It wobbles so much. My weight is going down and I’m not sure to help it not wobble like jelly.

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anorexia Anxiety diet exercise Food gym Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Sisters Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I know, I shouldn’t have!

I was with family and I really wanted to spend time with them, I didn’t want to leave. So I ate dinner with them.

I hate myself for eating but my sister already worries about my eating and she is only 11.

I don’t want her to grow up with the food issues I had at her age. I was suffering with anorexia at the age of 11. It took years of my life. I was still 18 and suffering.

It was nearly impossible to eat in-front of people, well really eat at all.

I’m now 26 and i still have eating issues.

I no longer have anorexia,

I’m very fat now and I’m trying to loose weight but the old ways of how to loose it is starting to take over!

I keep telling myself it’s ok to eat.

Categories
anorexia Mental health

Swallowing trouble … is it anxiety?

I’ve had a problem swallowing (mainly food) for a while now, it fluctuates. Sometimes I can swallow fine and other times I’m chocking.

Is it anxiety or is there something wrong?

I don’t feel like there is anything stopping the food other than swallowing the food. I do panic and try to cough the food back up.

Any ideas?

My doctor knows but isn’t sure what it is.

I did have anorexia a while back but in recovery from that. Although I still want to watch my weight and food.

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anorexia Anxiety beauty depression Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions exercise Health healthy Mental health Over weight Overweight Past Personality disorder scared Schizophrenia self harm Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I don’t want any more scars.

I’m so embarrassed in front on my own family. I hate how I look, fat, stretch marks and scars self inflicted and non self inflicted.

I will never get the chance to go back in time and not hurt myself, or back in time about going to one extreme of eating disorder to the other.

I do want to try to love my body, here’s 3 things I love about my body…

  • My tattoos,
  • My legs when they’ve been shaved and feel smooth,
  • The colour of my hair,

Now it’s your turn…

Comment three things you love about your body… ❤️