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This was my room in the mental health hospital.

I was sectioned!

I’m home now!

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Anyone able to help/ support me?

Looking to see if there is anyone who has the same or similar challenge to me that will understand how I feel?

I’m trying to find someone I can text or message that can understand the struggles and someone I can be honest with.

I’d really appreciate it if you suffer with the list below to message me or leave a comment, please.

  • I suffer with….
    • Anxiety,
      Problems with eating nothing or everything,
      Worries about medications,
      Self harm,
      Worries about getting help or needing it.

    It’s not a criteria. Just a few things I suffer with and would like some support.

    I am under a mental health team but haven’t seen or spoke in months (my choice) and I don’t feel I can be honest with them.

    I’ve been hospitalised many times. And I’m terrified of it happening again.

    The government and mental health team are after my dna to clone me. I believe that they won’t stop at anything to get me. I’ve got a chip in my body where they are able to track me.

    This is really hard to deal with and I don’t know who I can trust.

    I’m scared and would like to talk to someone.

    Anxiety Doctors Health healthy hospital Medication Mental health Nhs scared

    Is this low blood pressure and High pulse anything to worry about?

    I’m worried I’m feeling so unwell.

    Is this blood pressure too low?

    Is my pulse too high?

    Anxiety clozapine delusions Mental health mental health blogger Nhs Personality disorder psychiatrist psychosis Schizophrenia self harm spying Support worker Therapy Voices

    Day 9 on titration clozapine to quetiapine!

    Had an appointment with my care co-ordinated, psychiatrist and a nurse about my symptoms and medication. They have decided to slow the clozapine down as I’m experiencing side effects, like the spying and voices. I’m really not happy with this but at least the quetiapine is continue to increase daily.

    I’m at the sanctuary now ready for a spiritual session. Which went really well, there was a lot of people so I was very uncomfortable but the reverent was very reassuring and helped me through it. I just picked up the medication from the reception at the mental health hospital. I wish things went the way I want them too.

    I’ve decided that I’m refusing the blood test next week, to do with me clozapine. Hopefully that means they will have to stop it. But the reason I am refusing it is because I’m afraid of the staff taking my dna from the blood test. I’m scared about what may happen.

    I’m struggling, why are they spying on me and why are the voices really bad. I’m scared.

    Mental health

    Had bad news…. my Cpn is being changed.

    I hate this, I have a appointment last week with my cpn. She is the best professional I’ve ever had in my care.

    I’m sad

    I don’t know what to do or how to deal with this.

    I think I just need a big blow up but I’m not feeling it. I’m thinking to myself am I okay with this? When will it really hit me?

    Mental health

    No progress…

    I went to the doctor today. Got to have some test, blood test and ecg. Hoping that will help. And we can get answers to why I’m so dizzy.

    I want to feel better.

    anorexia Anxiety Carer Cpn Daily update delusions depression Disappointment Doctors Emotionally unstable personality disorder hallucinations Health healthy hospital Medication Mental health Mental health act Nhs Personality disorder psychiatrist psychosis scared Schizophrenia Sectioned self harm Support worker Therapy Voices

    What is a day like on an acute psychiatric ward?

    I bet you won’t believe this is an acute psychiatric ward, but let me tell you what this ward is like.

    It is a secure locked acute psychiatric ward. It’s where you go if you are quite mentally unwell.
    At about 7am we all get woken for breakfast, but honestly most of us go back to sleep, throughout the night someone checks on us every hour, it depends which staff do the checks some just look through the glass frosted window others do that and turn the full bright light on. Helpful I know. Sleep is important to recovery. 

    Anyway after that its medication time around 9 am, I like getting there early to miss the cue of 19 other patients.

    Then if we want escorted leave we can go to a planning meeting, for a member of staff and a time to be set for escorted leave, which means a member of staff has to come with you, especially if your on a section, for your first few leaves.

    There are a lot of Alarms going off, basically if a member of staff who’s doing the hourly checks on patients sees something worrying or bad like agitation or self harm, the alarm will be pulled it’s on every member of staffs keyring, and then staff go running to the room where the alarm was pulled. Usually there’s a lot of shouting especially if the alarm was pulled for someone trashing their room. These alarms happen a lot and are very unsettling.

    Then there is visiting time.

    Then Lunch, which is usually be pre made sandwiches.

    Then Medication again. 

    Sometimes if the Occupational therapist is in she will come and open the art room, so we can do something creative or if it’s the day the dog comes in we will pet the dog.

    There are also Three tv rooms, one massive one then two more private ones. But if you want to change the channel good luck trying to find the remote.

    There are Two quiet rooms

    To your surprise we have our own bedroom with own shower/toilet/ sink. With a paper curtain, no doors and a shelf for clothes. We can have a personal key to lock it. We can access it at any time day or night.
    Windows strong and mental so can’t get out

    There is a beautiful garden which can be accessed through the canteen or through the large to room. It’s got really high metal fences, and there are flower arrangements which are so pretty.

    Visiting hours are very strict your only allowed in the dinning room, and through to the garden or the Hub which is a oval shaped room in the middle of the ward, there is sofas, chairs, tables and a table tennis table. It’s pretty relaxed in there. There are three visiting hours a day.

    I stress so much about ward round, the days and times are changed nearly every week. It’s very unsettling. I’ve also now been told my consultant is off for two weeks, causes so much anxiety. In ward round your able to talk about possible medication changes, any side effects from medications and about possible leave/discharge.

    You can come in to the hospital two ways. Under a Sectioned or as a Voluntary patient. The main difference is leave, if you have chose to be here you can go out on leave alone a lot more than if you are sectioned. Also if your voluntary then you can ask to discharge your self, they can say no and if you still adiment your going, they can section you. I feel there isn’t too much difference.

    Leave can be given by your consultant if your sectioned and most likely it will be escorted leave, someone with you at all times. But if your in here voluntary then you can just ask the nurses if you can go when you want between 10am and 8pm, sometimes they may say no and if you are still wanting to go they can section you for a few hours/day to prevent you leaving the ward.

    Cleaners come round everyday. They are meant to hoover, and mop the floor and clean the bathroom. And also they do the communal areas too.

    Everyday your meant to be offered your One to one with your named nurse for that day.

    Care plan is given to you when you’ve been on the ward a few days and the nurses, doctors and consultants can have an input on what needs to be worked on while on the ward and things you may need help with.

    Observation levels will depend on how much of a risk the staff think you are. These can change from being 2:1 which is two staff with you at all times. Then 1:1 which is one stag always with you, then level 3 this means every 15 ministers your meant to be checked on, or level 4 is when your checked on hourly. These are good opportunities to ask the staff for help if you aren’t brace enough to leave your room.

    What you can and cant have here…

    They are very strict about what you can and can’t have. I’m not going to go in to detail because I don’t want to give others any ideas.

    Around the ward there are really nice pictures. I think there meant to give hope and to show you beauty.

    The ward I was in your allowed to have phones but they get charged in a cupboard.

    I know all wards are different, so there may not be the same things I’ve described.

    I hope you all stay well and I’m here if you need to talk.

    anorexia Anxiety Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions exercise Food Happy Health healthy Mental health Nhs Now Over weight Overweight Personality disorder psychiatrist self harm Support worker Therapy Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

    Comfort food, why?

    Why is it when I’m not looking forward to something or that, it all goes down to me eating too much sugar and fatty, take away foods.

    Why? I’m trying to loose weight, why am I craving so much sugar?

    Anxiety Cpn Mental health

    I’ve nominated you.

    I know you may never find out, but your a brilliant community psychiatric nurse. That’s why I’ve voted for you.

    You’ve changed my life in a positive way.

    I hope you win. Your the best.

    Animals Cats Mental health

    Hang in there.