My bracelet leave me be in red and talk to me on green. It’s soft and nice to wear. It’s easy to swap between sides. It’s a large bracelet and as far as I’m aware they only come in inside, and it’s large, even on me and I’m an adult.
It’s a great way non verbal or verbal can express if they want to talk or not.
It’s a great way to express when they want to talk. It’s neutral so it suites both make and female.
It’s great if you can’t verbalise what you want.
Was a busy weekend. Heard my neighbor above screaming for help, police had to knock the door in and, found she had broke her ankle.
Was very emotional and very triggering for me, kept having flash backs of times I’ve been involved with police and ambulance.
Luckily I found out yesterday, she is getting support in hospital, and hoping to make a good recovery.
Things aren’t good. I think since last Friday everything has been thrown up in the air.
I no longer feel in control or okay.
I feel like my head is going to explode, there’s too much going on in there. Like I said to my therapist yesterday, I don’t think I will be alive for very much longer.
I’m not sure if I should try to fight the voices and thoughts or just go with them. It’s going to happen sooner or later.
I am scared, its fear of the unknown. I don’t know where things are going to go from here.
I feel I should sacrifice my body then that will be enough. I will no longer be here or be a problem, people will be able to see how sorry I am in the fact I’ve sacrificed my own life.
I texted them all today, saying I loved them. Only dad replied but wanted to know if everything was okay as I don’t normally just text that. I lied and said all was okay.
So they all think I’m okay. My sister has completely blocked me on everything, which has hit me hard. Mum said it’s my fault as I put on Facebook about having to go to hospital. And she isn’t old enough for things like that, by the way she is 16 years old. My sister told me the other day she was talking to a friend who wanted to kill them selves so how can she deal with that but not deal with me saying I was in hospital. It’s just there excuse. To cover up the real reason that they don’t want me in their life!
I’ve deactivated my Facebook. I will escape everything in there. I rang there home phone about 30 minutes ago and the sister that’s blocked me answered, I asked her a few questions I either got silence or an answer I didn’t want to hear. So from that I decided that actually I don’t get included in anything to do with them as a family, no one really cares or knows whether I’m alive unless I text them first. So I’ve texted mum saying I no long want to be hurt and left out so I’m taking the step to remove myself from my family. It’s the only way I can see things being able to cope.
Things aren’t great and I hate everything about myself.
💫 Rosie’s Mental Health Journey 💫 