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DBT booklet arrived.

I’ve been very lucky over the years to have received NHS and private therapy.

But I’ve never tried DBT, I’ve heard it’s good especially for people with EUPD and BPD.

I have EUPD and I’m hoping I can work through this booklet and teach myself.

I really want to have a positive life and I feel this is taking the next step as well as being in control of my own safety.

Have you tried it?

Do you think I could do it on my own by going through the booklet?

I had a first look and it looks like it might be really helpful but it looked complicated, and for someone who did well in GCSE I thought I could understand it but it’s harder than I thought.

I can do this, can’t i?

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You have no idea how much emotional pain I’m in.

I’m really struggling, can you not see that.

Am I here, can you see me.

Can you hear my thoughts.

Can you save me,


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It’s coming to quickly…

Christmas can either be brilliant, awful or a mixture of feelings.

Am I ready… I am with gifts but I’m not mentally prepared.

Any help with to make Christmas a little easier please help me

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Leave me be… talk to me, double sided rubber bracelet.

My bracelet leave me be in red and talk to me on green. It’s soft and nice to wear. It’s easy to swap between sides. It’s a large bracelet and as far as I’m aware they only come in inside, and it’s large, even on me and I’m an adult.

It’s a great way non verbal or verbal can express if they want to talk or not.

It’s a great way to express when they want to talk. It’s neutral so it suites both make and female.

It’s great if you can’t verbalise what you want.

31 day blog challenge Mental health

Day 19- Meaningful song

I have a lot of meaningful songs. Music is constantly helping me. I listen to music so much. I have songs that represent the time or life I’m living. They all have deeper meanings for me.

But currently one song that is meaningful and inspiring is “I am here” by pink.

It talks about being here and asking the bigger question “where do we go, when we go” to me this means when we die where do we go. This is an important question to me as I hope and pray when I die I can be reunited with my nan and meet my brother. I hope this place is heaven.

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I’m creating a Safe space 

This safe space is currently in the bed room although I’m hoping to make it so that it’s easy to move depending on where I feel safe at the time. 

So far it’s got a massive Bean bag, it’s so comfy and it mould a to my body so i feel safe and held. 

I’m adding my blanket to it. I’ve got a really soft big blanket with the writing saying “Rosie, Fearless and Free.” 

I’ve included a Teddy that I got when I went on holiday years and years ago with my family to Florida. It’s simba from the lion king, wrapped in a leaf. It’s so soft and perfect to cuddle. 

The Pillow I’m including is a personalised pillow if my cats, with love typed on to it. 

I’ve got a nightlight cat which is always on at night, it’s got teo settings that it can be on white light which is the option I choose or it can be changing multicoloured. I also have a relaxing water and wave light which you can choose the colour.

Relaxing music, I have a play list that I’m still adding to of songs that help me to relax and be calm. I’m choosing them carefully because it’s very easy to get memory’s and flashbacks of things my brain has related to a song. 

I’m planning on adding Photos that are calming and nice. Especially ones if family and cats. Probably mostly just photos I’ve taken, and when I look at them they take me to a good place. 

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I don’t know where I’d be without music. 

Music has got me through some horrible and tough times but it’s also been some amazingly good memories to songs. I can hear a song and it will bring me back to a place or memory. 

The lyrics songs help me to relate and get emotions out, without music I don’t know where I would be. 

When my mood changes, I listen to songs that fit my mood, so I can go from a really happy one feeling good and then to one that’s deep and dark, because I’ve gone sad. 

I also use music to block out the voices. Sometimes it works really well and other times, I cant hear the music because the voices are too loud and distracting me. Without music I’m not sure I could leave the flat or calm myself in times of distress. Sometimes it works better through headphones, and other times it’s better to have it blasting through my speakers. 

There are a few songs which have really traumatic memories to them. I try to avoid them, but sometimes shops play them or they are on the radio. I do try to stay away from them most of the time. But when I’m feeling really low I sometimes listen to them, so I have a reason to feel low. 

I also love listening to music when I exercise, it makes time go quicker and that means I stay exercising longer which makes my health better.