Trigger warning- anorexia! ⚠️
I gained so much from recovering from my anorexia.
Although I’d say I’m weight restored but I still worry about food and weight so much.
I wish I had my anorexic weight back just so I could feel valid having all the anorexia thoughts.
But I’m the short term I’ve gained that I can actually eat in-front if people, I can eat some full fat foods, I enjoy foods including pasta so much,
This all comes with guilt, and worry.
I hate how I look but I’ve never liked how I look. Never!
I want to look nice and thin but will it will it be enough.
I want these thoughts to go away.
I’m not longer diagnosed with anorexia although I think I may have atypical anorexia as my weight is restored but I have so many anorexic traits still to this day, will they ever go?
Will it ever be valid enough?