anorexia Anxiety Diary Emotionally unstable personality disorder exercise Food Health healthy Medication Mental health Over weight Overweight Personality disorder psychiatrist psychosis Schizophrenia self harm Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I’m disgusting, I’ve put loads of weight on! 

I hate myself so much right now! 

I don’t deserve to get anything that I wanted, or had planned too. So that food shop I was planning is not going to happen. 

I need to be punished for this weight gain. I need to tell myself it’s not acceptable. I deserve to suffer, I need to exercise as much as I can, and not eat! 

I do not deserve the luxury of food, I’ve got enough fat on my body to survive for years. 

I’m so angry at myself, I really can’t think of where the weight had come from. I don’t go to the toilet regularly, which could contribute a bit, I wouldn’t say it’s water weight as I didn’t drink water yesterday.  Is it because of my medication being upped, is it not enough exercise, I need answers?

I’m so angry and annoyed I need to be punished. I will make sure I get the pain I deserve. 


I know my weight is horrible! Help me loose weight, please? 

anorexia Anxiety Food Health healthy Mental health Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I hate myself.

I’m so fat and ugly. I’m not who I want to be. I don’t look how I want too. I’m not where I want to be in my life. I think I’m so far away from who I wish I was that I feel I can’t get there. 

I ate some cereal, I hate myself for that. I ate it on my own accord! That is not acceptable to me. I’m going to have to burn it off. I was hungry and for the moment of eating it I wasn’t thinking about the weight I want to loose and how I’m going to loose that. But as soon as I was nearly finished panic set in, and realisation that I just ate that food, I logged it in MyFitnessPal and I logged more than I ate, so that I can make sure I burn it off and more. 

I’m going to start a book with inspiration to keep fighting to loose weight. I need to have clear rules of what I can eat and what I need to do. 

Do I believe the scales or what I think I see in the mirror.