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Overdue honest update.

⚠️⚠️⚠️Trigger warning! ⚠️⚠️⚠️

⚠️⚠️ suicide attempts, no food, restraint, poison, rape, self harm. ⚠️⚠️

Last Monday I attempted to end my life, my care co found out and police were called.

I was sectioned under 136 and taken to my local mental health hospital.

The next day I was put in section 2

I’ve appealed and got my tribunal on Wednesday, which I’m scared of.

I haven’t eaten in 2 weeks due to the nhs poisoning my food. I’m able to drink from sealed bottles from outside the ward although I’m limiting what I drink to dry and die.

I also found some glass and started cutting my wrist to get the medication out of me.

I’ve been injected by restraint 3 times and it’s so scary brings back flash backs from being raped.

I’ve been trying to get the blood out of my body so I can get the poison they are injecting me with out of my body.

I’m so scared. Currently the voices are really bad and I feel unsafe. The nhs are trying to steal my DNA. To clone me because I can’t die.

I’ve been here over a week but feels like a few hours I’m loosing track of time.

I’ve barricaded my door multiple times to attempt to stop them restraining and injecting me.

I’m so low at the moment and my head is so busy.

I’ve had a few troubles with family which has lead to me becoming more distressed.

I can’t concentrate much and it’s taken me days to write this.

I’m not ill and don’t need to be kept against my will and medicated! It’s not fair. I’m so scared.

Will I ever get out of here unharmed?

I think Ive lost some weight already from not eating for 2 weeks but it’s not through choice If they weren’t poisoning my food I could eat. I’m scared.

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alpaca Animals Mental health recovery Therapy

Friday 13th update. 🐓 🦙

This is my chicken I caught and named.


Today I stepped things up a notch.

I drove to anormal therapy. That’s the first time, so I went from support worker taking me then carer, then taxi then bus now I’m free to drive myself there!

Little steps all count. It all adds up to positive changes.

I’m quite proud of myself if I’m honest.

My dad said he was proud of me too, that meant so much too me!

Recovery is worth it, things are going well but of course there are tough times but I can do this. I know I can!

💫 I’m going to do this! 💫

Alpaca 🦙 from therapy!
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diet exercise Food Health healthy mental health blogger Over weight Overweight slimming world Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I’ve gained so much weight back in two days! So upset!

I hate myself so much.

I have to loose weight! I have too!

What can u do?

I’ve tried…

  • Slimming world,
  • Diet pills,
  • Fasting,
  • Exercise,
  • lots of water,
  • Healthy eating!

But I always binge, I always gained so much, even more than where I started!

What else can I try?

I’m struggling so much.

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anorexia Anxiety blogger borderline personality disorder bpd Cpn delusions depression Disappointment Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions hallucinations Happy Health Mental health mental health blogger Personality disorder psychosis scared Schizophrenia Sectioned self harm Voices

I want to help you?

Email me at rosiestar11@yahoo.co.uk

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diet exercise Food Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight slimming world Weight weight loss weightloss

Haven’t eaten in 46 hours.

I hope I loose weight!

My mum is trying to loose weight too.

She claims she lost 4lbs the same as me!!!!

BUT

She is eating so much rubbish, and is not exercising!

I’m trying so hard but feel so disappointed that mum isn’t really trying and is loosing the same as me!

I need to loose more weight!

I have too!!!!!

There has to be hope!

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diet exercise Food Health healthy Mental health Over weight Overweight slimming world Weight weight loss weightloss

Slimmer of the week!!!!

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diet exercise Food Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Please help me loose weight? 😢

I’m really trying but it doesn’t seem to be going right.

I’ve been eating around 1200kcal but yesterday I had 1500 kcal and gained 0.3 kg.

I’ve been doing at least 10,000 steps a day, and around 50 sit ups.

I’m keeping active most of the day.

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO INCREASE MY WEIGHT LOSS?

Please any support or suggestions will help!

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anorexia diet exercise Food Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Will I ever be thin enough!

I hate my weight and myself.

I used to be anorexic and now I’m obese!

I’m so upset that I let myself get like this.

I crave and need to be thin, I know I’ve got an obsession about my bones showing, but that’s what I want.

I’m so determined to get this weight off!

I will learn to live myself again!

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diet Food Health healthy i did it Mental health Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Slimming world, my first day!

I was surprised by how easy I found it and how good it made me feel!

I had a salad, with light baby bels and a tiny bit of extra light mayo.

I also had some pasta probably had half of what I would have normally had, with salad and a bit of cheese.

Not pictured was dome melon I had!

Categories
diet Food Health healthy i did it Mental health Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Slimming world, my first day!

I was surprised by how easy I found it and how good it made me feel!

I had a salad, with light baby bels and a tiny bit of extra light mayo.

I also had some pasta probably had half of what I would have normally had, with salad and a bit of cheese.

Not pictured was dome melon I had!