Tag: hope

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Mental health Past school Teacher

Message from previous teacher!!!! I’m shocked! 😮

My youngest sister still goes too the secondary school I used to go too, and she had parents evening last week.

My past teacher gave my mum a message to pass on to me!

This started alarm bells ringing! Thinking I had done something wrong!

But it was the opposite…….

She said to my mum…

“How’s my favourite girl doing?”

And

“Give her a big hug. I won’t because it would scared her.”

I used to have a massive fear of this teacher but at the same time the biggest bond!

I think the fear came from being paranoid that she was going to kill me along with a few other teachers. But now looking back I can see this was just one of my delusions from the schizophrenia.

I used to see her a a mum figure as I was able to talk to her about personal things and she understood.

I wish I could get back in touch with her, but wouldn’t know how!

If you ever come across this blog post I’d like to leave a message for you!

To one of the best teachers ever,

thank you so much for helping me get in touch with my religion again,

thank you for helping me get good grades and inspiring me to help others.

I’m sorry I was scared of you, I had no need to be.

I really wish I could see you to give you that big hug!

Best wishes.

X

Categories
Mental health

I need to know you are on my side. I need to know I’m not alone. 

I wish my brother or Nan was here, I need there love and support. I need to know that they are looking down on me and my life will get better. 

I know they won’t leave me to suffer. 

Please keep me in your thoughts and love you, Nan and brother. XxxX 

Categories
Anxiety Mental health Music

I don’t know where I’d be without music. 

Music has got me through some horrible and tough times but it’s also been some amazingly good memories to songs. I can hear a song and it will bring me back to a place or memory. 

The lyrics songs help me to relate and get emotions out, without music I don’t know where I would be. 

When my mood changes, I listen to songs that fit my mood, so I can go from a really happy one feeling good and then to one that’s deep and dark, because I’ve gone sad. 

I also use music to block out the voices. Sometimes it works really well and other times, I cant hear the music because the voices are too loud and distracting me. Without music I’m not sure I could leave the flat or calm myself in times of distress. Sometimes it works better through headphones, and other times it’s better to have it blasting through my speakers. 

There are a few songs which have really traumatic memories to them. I try to avoid them, but sometimes shops play them or they are on the radio. I do try to stay away from them most of the time. But when I’m feeling really low I sometimes listen to them, so I have a reason to feel low. 

I also love listening to music when I exercise, it makes time go quicker and that means I stay exercising longer which makes my health better.