All I do is look through my phone by the end of this i will have phone prints on my hands.
I’m scared it’s scary dealing with all this uncertainty on your own,
I’m bored what should I do?
I have so much I could do but how do I get the motivation to actually do it????
I feel I’m not doing enough to help others.
I can’t get out to do my own shopping and there are no delivery slots available, but luckily today my cousin has offered to do it.
Honestly so scared with this situation, I know people keep saying it’s simple all your being asked to do is stay at hone. How can I feel safe though, how can I not feel alone, how can I not escape this reality I’m living in!
I’ve been told this isn’t much difference to the life I gave myself before hand, but actually it is!
I used to go to mind groups, farm therapy, appointments with my care team, over to visit my family when ever I wanted too, that’s not the case now.
I know people keep saying you aren’t stuck at home your safe at home, but I don’t feel safe, I don’t feel safe from what’s going on inside my mind, or all the thoughts and difficult situations I’m now currently in.
I’m hoping this won’t last too long, I’ve heard a few dates being said and it’s a lot long than I originally thought it would be.
It’s scary too see and hear so many people getting ill and dying.
I’m scared, this is so out of my control but I’m going to try and focus on the positives…
Had a care plan review over video chat with my psychiatrist and cpn,
Did yoga with video chat,
Started some crafts,
Having more time to think and focus on my life,
Having time to tidy,
Been out for a walk,
Feeling like I’m finally starting to accomplish things that I’ve wanted to for ages.
So it’s not all negative here.
Later I will show you key rings I’ve made for anyone struggling. Can’t wait to share them. I’m going to be sending them completely free to anyone wanting one.
Things are confusing, there is a lot going on. I’m not sure where I am or what I am doing!
If you are in the uk you might know we are in a lock down. This causes a lot of anxiety for many different people. I’m scared. This is all new. But we can get through this.
Luckily I have some food but no set meals.
I’ve started to feel this in to set some kind of routine.
My yoga for the mind is not meeting but I got a lovely call about doing it on video call. I’m so excited it starts at 10 and gives me something to focus on. For today anyway.
My support worker called me and gave me a website where they are doing free online courses mainly about recovery and mental illness. It’s something that really interests me. I’m looking forward to have something to keep me busy.
I think this is all going to be so hard on my mental health from the lock down to personal issues!
How can I know what I want but can’t say it, how can I know what I should say and it be wrong! How can I live when I want to die!
I’m struggling I’m trying to be strong and positive but how can I when I feel like this!
I hate moaning but I also hate feeling like I’m being told I’m someone I’m not. I do not think I am manipulative but I’ve been told I am. I hate that word and I was only trying to help, I was trying do to and say the right thing for them. How is that being manipulative.
Anyway so that’s all so random and there is no plan to the blog post, sorry about that. I just had too get it all out.
Please take care! Mental health is just as important as physical health!