Mental health

First shopping trip since lockdown!

I did it.

The last shopping trip I made to the supermarket was in February 2020.

It was horrible and so confusing, this is when the one way systems care in and all the rules and changes. It caused a panic attack.

I hadnt been in to a shop since then.

But on Sunday. I did it. I went to a shop with support from a family member.

It was still scary but I did it. I felt so good walking out of that shop !

I got some cool things,

Blackjack ice lollies, galaxy bed sheets and an alpaca charging lead.

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Things I’m looking forward to after lock down ends.

This lock down is playing havoc with my mental and physical health.

I’m struggling so much with everything. The every day little things are becoming so hard.

So when this lock down is over, I’m looking forward to…

  • Seeing my family,
  • Spending time with my niece,
  • Meeting this guy I’m talking too,
  • Shopping trips without worry,
  • Summer round my parents,
  • family bbq
  • going back to yoga
  • Starting work
  • Going to creative writing,
  • Swimming,
  • Visits to the beach,

Am I think I will appreciate these moments much more than I did before all of this.

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🦙Alpaca with finger ink from my 12 year old sister💕

My sister was so kind to me this nearly made me cry, that she spent the time to make this for me.

She is so clever!

I’m so happy. Thank you to my gorgeous sister.


Mental health

How do I deal with lock down on my own!

I’m completely alone, and I’m scared and bored.

All I do is look through my phone by the end of this i will have phone prints on my hands.

I’m scared it’s scary dealing with all this uncertainty on your own,

I’m bored what should I do?

I have so much I could do but how do I get the motivation to actually do it????

I feel I’m not doing enough to help others.

I can’t get out to do my own shopping and there are no delivery slots available, but luckily today my cousin has offered to do it.

Honestly so scared with this situation, I know people keep saying it’s simple all your being asked to do is stay at hone. How can I feel safe though, how can I not feel alone, how can I not escape this reality I’m living in!

Honestly the fear has got on top of me!

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I need an end date, it’s too uncertain!

The covid-19 is making me so anxious for so many reasons but mainly due to no end date of the virus it’s self which I know is impossible but there could be an end date to the lock down in the uk!

It will be 3 weeks in lock down on Monday

I just wish I had an end date, this is all too uncertain!

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Thank you NHS

Having a bit of a tough day, trying to stay in the moment, so did some colouring!

Found out my cousin who’s a paramedic has covid-19. If I’m honest I didn’t think it was going to effect my family but it has. I was naive and thought we were immune!

It turns out it will probably effect someone we know.

I really want to thank the nhs and all key workers! There are so many people coming together in this time of need thank you to all of you! Your all amazing!

We may all loose something or someone to this virus but we are all in this together!

Stay home, stay safe!

I’m here if anyone needs to talk.

craft Mental health

Painted my hallway!

I need to do the wood paint still, but the wall is now gray.

Mental health mental health blogger

First week in lock down.

I’ve been told this isn’t much difference to the life I gave myself before hand, but actually it is!

I used to go to mind groups, farm therapy, appointments with my care team, over to visit my family when ever I wanted too, that’s not the case now.

I know people keep saying you aren’t stuck at home your safe at home, but I don’t feel safe, I don’t feel safe from what’s going on inside my mind, or all the thoughts and difficult situations I’m now currently in.

I’m hoping this won’t last too long, I’ve heard a few dates being said and it’s a lot long than I originally thought it would be.

It’s scary too see and hear so many people getting ill and dying.

I’m scared, this is so out of my control but I’m going to try and focus on the positives…

  • Had a care plan review over video chat with my psychiatrist and cpn,
  • Did yoga with video chat,
  • Started some crafts,
  • Having more time to think and focus on my life,
  • Having time to tidy,
  • Been out for a walk,
  • Feeling like I’m finally starting to accomplish things that I’ve wanted to for ages.

So it’s not all negative here.

Later I will show you key rings I’ve made for anyone struggling. Can’t wait to share them. I’m going to be sending them completely free to anyone wanting one.

Book from the therapy farm I use to go too.
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Update. I hate this situation!

Things are confusing, there is a lot going on. I’m not sure where I am or what I am doing!

If you are in the uk you might know we are in a lock down. This causes a lot of anxiety for many different people. I’m scared. This is all new. But we can get through this.

Luckily I have some food but no set meals.

I’ve started to feel this in to set some kind of routine.

My yoga for the mind is not meeting but I got a lovely call about doing it on video call. I’m so excited it starts at 10 and gives me something to focus on. For today anyway.

My support worker called me and gave me a website where they are doing free online courses mainly about recovery and mental illness. It’s something that really interests me. I’m looking forward to have something to keep me busy.

I think this is all going to be so hard on my mental health from the lock down to personal issues!

How can I know what I want but can’t say it, how can I know what I should say and it be wrong! How can I live when I want to die!

I’m struggling I’m trying to be strong and positive but how can I when I feel like this!

I hate moaning but I also hate feeling like I’m being told I’m someone I’m not. I do not think I am manipulative but I’ve been told I am. I hate that word and I was only trying to help, I was trying do to and say the right thing for them. How is that being manipulative.

Anyway so that’s all so random and there is no plan to the blog post, sorry about that. I just had too get it all out.

Please take care! Mental health is just as important as physical health!