Mental health

I hate being told what I can and can’t do with my life, but why do I need reassurance and someone to decide for me?

I think this all goes back to my upbringing,

It was really really tough

Even now all my sister rely on my mum we have too. I do if too, but I don’t want to any more and I’m going to break the cycle!

I’m getting my own life that doesn’t need to be controlled by anyone!

I’m moving in with my life and I hope I can inspire the girls to do that too!

We got this. I got this!

I’m more than being told what I can and can’t write on a message, I need to think for myself and not need reassurance from anyone.

I will a job and I will have a dragon as a pet if I want too.

Im an adult I can’t make the mistakes and achievements in my life and own them. Being responsible!

I don’t care if she is taking the ckntrol and not showing me the letter, what will it change by reading it.

I don’t think I’m cutting them off I think I am just taking control of my life. I will decide what energy I allow in my life!

cancer Doctors hospital Mental health Mum

Breast cancer clinic.

I went to the breast cancer clinic a few weeks ago.

I was terrified.

I went with my carer and mum, but I went in alone!

First I went for a scan, they were all really nice. It was really embarrassing laying there with my top off, but they made it easier by being so nice.

I then had to wait to see the consultant, who looked at my scans and then examined me. Again I went in on my own!

They don’t think it’s breast cancer which is good, the lump was still there and he did explain what it was but it’s not cancer.

My mum was really quiet on the way back and I think it’s because she didn’t get to come in with me.

She has been really off with me since it, in my head I think it’s because she is disappointed that I don’t have something life threatening and there is no drama left for her!

hospital Mental health Mum

I had my appendix out 16 years ago.

I remember it so much was a very traumatic time.

My scar is pretty big.

My appendix had burst for a few days and I was being sick all the time.

My mum didn’t believe me and it was only when I begged mum to take me to the doctors.

She didn’t believe the doctor when they said how unwell I was.

Before surgery mum said to me “are you lying because they are going to cut you open!” I couldn’t believe it my own mum didn’t believe me.

The surgeon said to her after if it was a few hours later I would have died!

Only then did my mum believe me!

But I survived and I hope to make the most of that chance I’ve been given.

Medication Mental health Mum

My mum now knows I’m not taking my medication

But she doesn’t seem to care, so that’s ok.

family Mental health Mum

Mum said I look like I’ve lost loads of weight

I took this good. It made me happy.

I’m glad she could tell I’ve lost weight!

Mental health reborn

Mother day Flowers.

I love my Mother’s Day flowers.

I’m a mother to a silicone baby called Dylan, he is my baby and I treat him like one.

I’m also a mum to three beautiful cats, Tiger, Tinkerbell and Taylor.

Thank you for my flowers.

Mental health reborn

My Mother’s Day.

I can’t wait to spend Mother’s Day with my gorgeous baby boy.

I love you Dylan.

Mental health Mum

Thanks mum.

Pjs from my mum, can you believe it.

She thought of me.

I love her so much and don’t show it or say it enough.

Thank you mum.

I love you.

beauty family Mental health

Pj alpaca/ llamas

My mum brought these for me. I’m so great full she put in a lot of effort to buy me something I’d love.

Thank you mummy.

Mummy I love you.


Mental health

Family update…

This week I’ve been calling them all every night, and then today I’ve been invited to spend time with them. I’m still with them and I normally wouldn’t be home by now.

I’m feeling a bit more settled. I’m trying not to get my hopes up as I know they will change.

My mum will not speak to me after tonight. She was going out and asked for my opinion on her dress and she was annoyed because I said I prefer the other one. Made me feel really bad like every I say or do is wrong. No wonder I’m so f**ked up. She will not talk to me I bet after tonight.

At least the last few hours have been more normal. If you can define “normal”