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family Mental health

My Mother’s Day daffodils and card from my niece as I’m her God mother.

So grateful, this means so much too me. I love my niece/ God daughter,

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family Mental health

My niece came over,

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Mental health

My niece painting.

Today my niece came over to my flat, she is just two.

She painted this E. She really enjoyed it.

I love the fact she comes over and likes being at mine, we do something crafty each time she comes over.

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family Mental health

My niece craft draw

My niece has started coming over to my flat when we have been to a play group together.

I brought some different activities to do together. Looking forward to Thursday when we can use them.

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beauty family Food Health healthy Mental health

Alpaca cookies for my Niece. Thank

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Mental health

My niece was 1 yesterday.

Had a lovely time with her. It’s gone so quick, she is walking and trying to talk.

I love her cuddles and her bro smile.

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Mental health

11.3.18

Daffodils from my niece/ God daughter.

They are beautiful. 💐

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family Mental health

Photos are now allowed.

My sister wasn’t allowing me any photos with my niece but after dropping her phone down the toilet and loosing all her daughters photos from birth we are now allowed photos.

Shame she had to learn the hard way.

I guess I feel there is less tension between us all. Now that it can just be relaxed and normal.

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family Glad God Mental health

I’ve been asked to be my nieces Godmother.

I’m delighted. Of course I said yes.

I haven’t spent much time with her in her 6 months alive, due to my own anxieties and emotional issues.

But I love her so much.

I had kinda guessed from the texts saying the family want to see me. It’s not like them to understand what I’m going through. Although they’ve all been really understanding this time.

Anyway, my nieces christening is in three months, that give me time to spend more time with her and make sure I look how I wanted to when she was born.

I’ve got a special relationship with God, this brings me even closer.

I’m so pleased. 💖

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anorexia Anxiety family Mental health Personality disorder Schizophrenia Sisters

Power games. 

All my life I’ve been brought up by parents always wanting the power, for example, my texts would always be checked, and my diary read. I had no privacy and no secrets. Until I started playing power games too. This I guess started with my anorexia. I knew it was the one thing I could control. 

Anyway this post is just to prove my sister who has had the baby, is now playing power games. I’m not allowed to take any photos of my niece. The excuse she is using is I don’t know where the photos are going. 

She also doesn’t reply to my messages about meeting up and yesterday when I asked her to her face can we meet up this week. She said ” I will consider it.” She isn’t busy and is planning on seeing other people why am I being pushed out? (Power game.) 

Why is she playing games with me? All I’ve done is try to be there for her and help her but it’s getting shoved in my face. I know my niece is going to grow up being use to these power games, I hope she will be like me and can see what her mum and Nan are doing. 

I think they are doing it towards me because I have mental illness and they don’t know what to do or say to me. I’m like an alien that they don’t want to be part of the family. 

I’m done trying. I don’t think they are very fair, but I’m old enough to not get envolved. I’m staying out of there way. If they want to be so petty so be it. I’m raising above them.