Mental health update

Been discharged a week, what have I been up too…

So today marks a week out of inpatient.

I’m so glad I’m home.

I thought it was going to be a lot easier than I’ve actually found it.

I’ve been very lonely and started to use old coping mechanisms.

Today is the first day I’ve felt in control.

So I’ve worked through my todo list, and now I’m having a bath, and listening to my favourite songs.

I’m starting to look after my appearance.

My job has moved a lot further, both references are done and the occupational health assessment has been done. I’m waiting for the report of that to come back and then a start date.

I’m scared in case it doesn’t happen and go through because of my mental health but I feel 100% ready to do this job.

I’ve seen my family this week, which I will admit has been pretty stressful, but it was still nice to see them.

I’ve been the the animal therapy farm and had a cuddle with a ducklings. I had an amazing time.

I’ve started to work on loosing weight and getting healthy.

It’s been so lovely seeing and BBC spending time with my cats.

So overall I think things are going ok and I can’t wait to start living not just surviving!

Mental health


I hate the face I may be on medication for the rest of my life.

I hate you mental illness.

I wish I was normal.

clozapine Daily update Emotionally unstable personality disorder hallucinations Medication Mental health Personality disorder psychosis Schizophrenia self harm Voices

Day 8. Clozapine. 30.10.17

Saw my support work on the way in to the hospital today. She had been off for a week. Hopefully going to catch up with her later on in the week.

Today my blood pressure was up, I heard talking while having it done increases your blood pressure, it worked.

I’m on 75mg today. And also they have upped the rate of it increasing so I don’t have to wait an extra day so tomorrow it goes up by 50mg in the evening and 75mg in the morning.

I feel a little bit suspicious about everyone, I’m also struggling with the voices and being told to harm. I’m not sure how long I can hold out.

I’m staying here an hour, and then going home until later when I’m having my weekly blood test and blood pressure check.

I’m trying my best to keep hydrated but it’s difficult, I’m not used to drinking a lot, but I’m trying my best, already had a litre and it’s 9:45am.

Anxiety hospital Medication Mental health

Day hospital.

Today I’m off to the day hospital at the mental health hospital. This is to have my blood taken and an ecg oh my heart. I’m going so they can put me on the highest dose of quetiapine. 

I’m very anxious as I’m still not fully trusting them to not clone me with my blood, but from my knowledge they would need more than just blood to clone me. I hope that’s right.