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family Mental health Sisters

Will I ever be a good big sister?

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!

Mention of self harm and suicide!

I’m the oldest of us four girls.

I was never a good big sister growing up.

My mental health got in the way of that.

Instead of looking after my sisters and being a good role model, I was harming, not eating and attempting suicide nearly ever other day.

I wish I was there for them, but now they all seem to be getting along so well without me.

I feel so left out.

They all talk to each other, and do things together and then there is me who tries to fit in but it’s obvious I’m an outsider!

How can I fit in more? What can I do to be the big sister and role model that I wish I was!

I hate who I have become. I need to be a better person!

Most of the time I feel things would be best for them if I wasn’t here or getting in the way.