Mental health

Mental health awareness week my story!

Since age 11 I have had poor mental health.

I started to self harm, and not eat.

I was first sectioned aged 18 after numerous suicide attempts.

Since then I’ve been sectioned too many times. Also in hospital volunteering.

These last two weeks have been awful. I’ve been trying to kill myself a lot. But I’m alive. I’m not sure if that’s what I want or not.

I’m struggling so much. The sun is trying to burn me and I feel I need to get more energy so I’m stronger than the sun.

I’m struggling but there is no help.

I’m hearing voices and Ava is helping me. It’s going to be ok.

Alcohol alpaca Animals anorexia Anxiety baby beach blogger borderline personality disorder bpd Cats clozapine Daily update delusions depression diet Emotionally unstable personality disorder family Food Future Glad God hair styles hallucinations Health healthy holiday hospital i did it Medication Mental health Mental health act mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Personality disorder Pregnant psychiatrist psychosis Schizophrenia Sectioned self harm Tattoo Therapy Voices wedding Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Review on the decade. All the good and bad!

Not in any order!

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Self harm, inpatient, suicide attempts, rape,

  • Got a niece,
  • Turned 18
  • Passed my driving test
  • Was sectioned for the first time, so many times after
  • Had my first blood transfusion
  • Was anorexic now obese!
  • Got my own place
  • Was raped
  • Got three cats
  • Being put on antipsychotics
  • First alcohol drink
  • First holiday without parents
  • Sister got married
  • Got my first silicone baby, Dylan
  • Started this blog
  • Been able to eat in-front of people and public
  • Got closer to extended family
  • Been to Ireland
  • Officially got diagnosed with mental health, -schizophrenia, -emotionally unstable personality disorder, -anxiety, -anorexia, -depression, -ocd,
  • Had a seizure
  • Done two dance shows
  • Became a God mother
  • Went to Florida with my family
  • Seen many waterfalls
  • Seen, p!nk, the script, Ed Sheeran, Jess Glynne,
  • Got 6 tattoos
  • Dyed my hair purple

My favourite photos from the last decade…

Cake I made for my sisters 25th birthday.

Had dinner on the beach and watched the sunset!

First ever time being handcuffed, hopefully the last!

It wasn’t an arrest, I had done nothing wrong, it was for my safety and to stop me running away!

Tinker bell my second cat as a kitten!

Tiger my first cat and tinker bell cuddling!

Tiger and a cat I looked after for a bit, called Pepsi!

Tigers first car ride to pets @ home! He was so good!

Feeding alpacas!

One day worth of pills!

Overdose treatment!

Sectioned, unfortunately not the last time!

Taylor my youngest cat, now 4 years old!

Tinker bell thinking of getting in the path with me.

My favourite waterfall!

Tiger and tinker bell cuddling!



Taylor sleeping on me!

Tinker bell!

All three of my cats together!

Dylan my first silicone baby!

My most recent hospital section a month ago!

So I guess that concludes the end of a decade for me! 2010-2020!

It’s been a rollercoaster of ups and downs!

Reached times in my life I thought I was going to die! But some how I survived, but this next decade I’m determined too live not just survive!

I know it’s cliche but I will make this year count!

anorexia Anxiety blogger depression Emotionally unstable personality disorder hallucinations Mental health mental health blogger Personality disorder psychosis Schizophrenia Sectioned self harm Support worker

Summer time vs scars?

I have self harm and some scars that aren’t self inflicted.

I hate it. I feel I can’t wear T-shirts, or shorts I feel judged and embarrassed.

I definitely won’t be able to go swimming or the in hot tub.

I have and still self harm so I have scars from that. But I also have a scar on my tummy from an operation.

How do you deal with it? Help me out.

Mental health self harm

Tattoo time.

Last week…

Tattoo a week on…

Anxiety blogger Emotions family Future Health i did it Mental health mental health blogger Miscarriage nature Pregnancy Pregnant self harm Sisters


I’ve self harmed for years, every scar has a story and meaning. They are evidence of surviving and my life. I had this tattoo designed by scratch, the flame symbolising my brother who’s not here, and all three of my sisters chose a flower. So my arm has been changed from showing my scars and story to the love of my family

Tattoo covering my scars up.

First pic my scars… second the design…the finished tattoo.

anorexia Anxiety Charity Cpn Daily update delusions depression Diary Doctors Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions exercise Future hallucinations Health healthy hospital Lonely Medication Mental health Mental health act Nhs Past Personality disorder psychiatrist psychosis scared Schizophrenia Sectioned self harm Support worker Therapy Voices

10th September suicide prevention day.

10th September is suicide awareness day, but it’s also my birthday.

I feel really passionate about it being suicide awareness day, I’ve attempted suicide many times, as you’ve probably guessed I didn’t succeed.

I want to help others who feel they need to attempt suicide or are thinking about it.

I can’t say your life will be smooth and that there won’t be struggles because that’s unrealistic, but I can say your not alone. There are loads of charities out there that want to help YOU! And I’m here if you want to talk through how your feeling.

I care.

anorexia Anxiety beauty depression Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions exercise Health healthy Mental health Over weight Overweight Past Personality disorder scared Schizophrenia self harm Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I don’t want any more scars.

I’m so embarrassed in front on my own family. I hate how I look, fat, stretch marks and scars self inflicted and non self inflicted.

I will never get the chance to go back in time and not hurt myself, or back in time about going to one extreme of eating disorder to the other.

I do want to try to love my body, here’s 3 things I love about my body…

  • My tattoos,
  • My legs when they’ve been shaved and feel smooth,
  • The colour of my hair,

Now it’s your turn…

Comment three things you love about your body… ❤️

anorexia Anxiety Daily update delusions depression Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions Future Glad Happy Health healthy Lonely Mental health Personality disorder psychiatrist psychosis Schizophrenia Sectioned self harm Support worker Therapy

Don’t judge by clothes or scars

I went in to a subway restaurant while I was away on holiday in the uk. You might ask why is she telling me this… well there was a lady serving us with lots of scars on her arms. I immediately wanted to give her a hug and tell her how brave she is. But why should I treat her any different.

I was judging her they could be scars from something unrelated to mental health.

Moral to me don’t judge people by there cover.

But if you are struggling with mental health issues or self harm, keep fighting I’m proud of you. Your so brave. I’m here for you.

Sending hugs your way. Xxx

beach Mental health

I stick out so much on the beach.

It was a lovely summer day yesterday with the sun shining and I was with my family on the beach.

I was the only one wearing thick clothes and a woolly hat, oh and not to forget sunglasses. I must have looked crazy.

Was it to feel safe and secure? or was it because I was cold?

I don’t think you will ever know because I don’t know why?

Anxiety Emotionally unstable personality disorder family Mental health self harm

Scars and children.

I’ve had scars all over my body from self harm for years. But today unexpectedly my youngest sister who’s 10, asked what happened to my arms. I frozen. I had no idea how to explain it to her. She said she remembers me saying it was cats, but I thought about it and said it wasn’t my cats. It was an accident because I have something wrong with my brain.

I had no idea what to say to her, I’m not sure I said or dealt with it in the right way.

I don’t want her to be scared but I also want all of us in my family feel comfortable for me to show my arms.

We take it for granted being able to wear t-shirts with scars.

I’m a little ashamed of them but also glad I’m still fighting this battle.

How would you deal with it?

What would you or have you said to explain self harm scars to children?