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How inpatient is going.

I’ve been in hospital nearly 3 weeks now.

There has been lots of tears, restraints, injections, prn, and anxiety but I’m starting to feel better.

Last Tuesday they decided they were going to give me the depot of haloperidol instead of the daily injections that were causing me so much distress.

It’s only 4 days after and I feel a difference already, the voices have died down, I’m no longer following there commands about harming myself or not eating.

I hadn’t eaten in 2 and a half weeks due to the voices telling me the food was poisoned, but since the depot I’ve managed to start eating, i did loose 20 lbs in the weeks that I wasn’t eating, I am scared that now I’m going to put all that weight back on but now I’ve got an even bigger reason to loose as much weight as I can now.

I had appealed my section called a Tribunal but I didn’t win it as I’m still here. It was horrible listening to them all talk about me and what’s wrong with me and why I’m not safe. An because of covid we were all on the phone, so we couldn’t see each other. Anyway I lost and I’m still here under section 2.

I have had a lot of falling out with my family since being in here, I hate the fact that they go behind my back to get information about me and my care when it clearly states on my notes not to share any information with them. Why should I? They never tell me when my team have been in touch with them. It’s horrible knowing everyone is going behind my back, it’s my cate talk to me!!!!

Ward round went well on Thursday, the consultant said I can be discharged this week coming. Which I’m happy about but I don’t think it’s going to be as simple as waking up tomorrow, packing and walking out the door, they have been talking about a CTO, which would mean I have to have another mental health act assessment and put on section 3 just to be put on a CTO.

My understanding of the CTO is that if I refuse the depot or mental health declines than I can be brought back in to hospital under section 3 automatically. Which is scary.

On Friday I went on my first escorted leave since arriving nearly 3 weeks ago. It was so nice to get out, the rain stopped for us and a nurse that I trust and get on well with took me. We had a really good chat. She also supported me to get my first meal here. Which I’m so great full for.

The occupational therapist spent some one to one time with me and she painted my nails. Gave me a sheet to colour and a puzzle to do in my room.

So as it stands now. I’m hopefully going home one day this week, I hope it’s really soon as I can’t wait to see my cats, sleep in my own bed and have a shave.

It’s amazing the difference one medication can make. I feel like a different person.

I will admit I didn’t realise I’ve been here this long, and luckily I don’t remember much about the distressing times.

Hopefully I will be home soon and back on the life I want to lead.

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What is a day like on an acute psychiatric ward?

I bet you won’t believe this is an acute psychiatric ward, but let me tell you what this ward is like.

It is a secure locked acute psychiatric ward. It’s where you go if you are quite mentally unwell.
At about 7am we all get woken for breakfast, but honestly most of us go back to sleep, throughout the night someone checks on us every hour, it depends which staff do the checks some just look through the glass frosted window others do that and turn the full bright light on. Helpful I know. Sleep is important to recovery. 

Anyway after that its medication time around 9 am, I like getting there early to miss the cue of 19 other patients.

Then if we want escorted leave we can go to a planning meeting, for a member of staff and a time to be set for escorted leave, which means a member of staff has to come with you, especially if your on a section, for your first few leaves.

There are a lot of Alarms going off, basically if a member of staff who’s doing the hourly checks on patients sees something worrying or bad like agitation or self harm, the alarm will be pulled it’s on every member of staffs keyring, and then staff go running to the room where the alarm was pulled. Usually there’s a lot of shouting especially if the alarm was pulled for someone trashing their room. These alarms happen a lot and are very unsettling.


Then there is visiting time.

Then Lunch, which is usually be pre made sandwiches.

Then Medication again. 

Sometimes if the Occupational therapist is in she will come and open the art room, so we can do something creative or if it’s the day the dog comes in we will pet the dog.

There are also Three tv rooms, one massive one then two more private ones. But if you want to change the channel good luck trying to find the remote.

There are Two quiet rooms

To your surprise we have our own bedroom with own shower/toilet/ sink. With a paper curtain, no doors and a shelf for clothes. We can have a personal key to lock it. We can access it at any time day or night.
Windows strong and mental so can’t get out


There is a beautiful garden which can be accessed through the canteen or through the large to room. It’s got really high metal fences, and there are flower arrangements which are so pretty.

Visiting hours are very strict your only allowed in the dinning room, and through to the garden or the Hub which is a oval shaped room in the middle of the ward, there is sofas, chairs, tables and a table tennis table. It’s pretty relaxed in there. There are three visiting hours a day.

I stress so much about ward round, the days and times are changed nearly every week. It’s very unsettling. I’ve also now been told my consultant is off for two weeks, causes so much anxiety. In ward round your able to talk about possible medication changes, any side effects from medications and about possible leave/discharge.

You can come in to the hospital two ways. Under a Sectioned or as a Voluntary patient. The main difference is leave, if you have chose to be here you can go out on leave alone a lot more than if you are sectioned. Also if your voluntary then you can ask to discharge your self, they can say no and if you still adiment your going, they can section you. I feel there isn’t too much difference.

Leave can be given by your consultant if your sectioned and most likely it will be escorted leave, someone with you at all times. But if your in here voluntary then you can just ask the nurses if you can go when you want between 10am and 8pm, sometimes they may say no and if you are still wanting to go they can section you for a few hours/day to prevent you leaving the ward.

Cleaners come round everyday. They are meant to hoover, and mop the floor and clean the bathroom. And also they do the communal areas too.

Everyday your meant to be offered your One to one with your named nurse for that day.

Care plan is given to you when you’ve been on the ward a few days and the nurses, doctors and consultants can have an input on what needs to be worked on while on the ward and things you may need help with.

Observation levels will depend on how much of a risk the staff think you are. These can change from being 2:1 which is two staff with you at all times. Then 1:1 which is one stag always with you, then level 3 this means every 15 ministers your meant to be checked on, or level 4 is when your checked on hourly. These are good opportunities to ask the staff for help if you aren’t brace enough to leave your room.

What you can and cant have here…

They are very strict about what you can and can’t have. I’m not going to go in to detail because I don’t want to give others any ideas.

Around the ward there are really nice pictures. I think there meant to give hope and to show you beauty.

The ward I was in your allowed to have phones but they get charged in a cupboard.

I know all wards are different, so there may not be the same things I’ve described.

I hope you all stay well and I’m here if you need to talk.

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Blood results…Hb 8.7

My care plan is that If it gets to a heamaglobin of 7 then I will have a mental health act assessment. I’m trying to stay away from that, or trick it. 

Had a blood test this Thursday but haven’t received results yet, think they might have gone up as I took a few iron tablets.

But recently the iron tablets I’m taking made me feel really sick and shaking, is this normal for iron supplements? Anyway I’ve stopped them until I can speak to my doctor about the side effects I’m getting.

Should I take them and get my hb up and then eat less, it’s a decision I need to make and stick with. 

I need to know what I’m trying to achieve. Which keeps changing. 

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Do they wait to help you until it’s too late?

Mental health teams, do they really give the support you need before it gets to dramatic or too much suffering. In my experience I don’t receive the help I want and need at the time of crisis. The mental health team wait and wait, and it causes so much pain and until I get to a place where I’m so ill I’m in so much danger. I know they can’t section you until your a danger to youself or others, which is basically a state I’m constantly in. When things get so much worse everyone seems to back off. I need help why are you not listening. What help could be useful…

  • A review with psychiatrists,
  • May be increase in medication,
  • More frequent visits,
  • Or calls,

It doesn’t all have to be dramatic and sectioning and involving the police. I hate all that.

At the moment I can tell I’m slipping, I feel so low and I probably won’t get listened too or offered any extra help. The voices aren’t helping as they are telling me I can’t tell my cpn what’s going on. I’m so scared. Nothing at the moment seems to be helping. But please mental health workers listen to your patients,,, we know when we need extra help. And the times we can’t tell for our selves please be gentle and not dramatic it only causes us more panic and upset.