Mental health

Do I risk it? 

I’ve been harming, and meant to have a blood test tomorrow, I’m pretty sure the results will show that I’ve been harming. I’ve managed to hide it from cpn and gp. 

I’m not sure if I’m ready for them to find out I’ve been harming again. 

If I don’t have the blood test my medication has to go down because of they won’t be able to monitor my white blood cells. If they drop too low then if I get an infection it will be harder to fight, and get back to being well. The medication is helping a lot at the moment, and I don’t want that to go back down and feel rubbish again. 

What should I do? I guess they can’t do anything about my harming I keep telling myself but i know deep down they can, if it’s bad they can section me, and I want to stay away from that. I’ve been doing so well I don’t want to go back wards. Only forwards!