I’m seriously scared,
Any suggestions will be helpful.
I usually end up harming or doing something dangerous just to try and cope with the memories/flash backs!
But I need to get a grip on this, there are so many things that trigger the memories of it or flash backs.
I’m constantly having nightmares.
I had a panic attack last night due to it all becoming too overwhelming!
Help please?
I remember it so much was a very traumatic time.
My scar is pretty big.
My appendix had burst for a few days and I was being sick all the time.
My mum didn’t believe me and it was only when I begged mum to take me to the doctors.
She didn’t believe the doctor when they said how unwell I was.
Before surgery mum said to me “are you lying because they are going to cut you open!” I couldn’t believe it my own mum didn’t believe me.
The surgeon said to her after if it was a few hours later I would have died!
Only then did my mum believe me!
But I survived and I hope to make the most of that chance I’ve been given.
I believe it was a planed plot to get me in to hospital so that they can do what ever tests and gather information about me that they want. I feel safe and unsafe, mainly from the staff.
I did have an incident when I was here one night, things just got too much for me, but I think that's for another blog post.
I was just going for an outpatient crisis appointment planned meeting with my psychiatrist and community psychiatric nurse, and cousin/carer.
I did not for one second think walking in to this hospital for normal meeting that I wouldn't be able to leave. I didn't say good bye to my cats or have there food out and plans in place.
I was so shocked I walked from the outpatient floor to the acute psychiatric inpatient ward, with out thinking or even remembering how did I get here, I think a few days later it final set in that I was here and sectioned under the mental health act and that I wouldn't be able to leave and have no idea of when I will get out?
💫 Rosie’s Mental Health Journey 💫 