Categories
anorexia Anxiety Daily update Diary diet Doctors Emotions exercise Food gym Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Nhs Over weight Overweight self harm Sisters Support worker Therapy Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

“You’ve lost weight but it’s not enough to notice!”

I’ve just been told this!

I went out with my sister and niece/ God daughter to a play group.

It was good I haven’t seen them in two weeks so she hasn’t seen me in about two weeks. I’ve lost a fair amount of weight In that time.

What I heard in my head is her saying…

“You’ve lost a little weight but your still hugh! Your fat and need to loose more.”

She didn’t say that but I guess that’s what I want to hear to fule my obsession about loosing weight it gives me an extra motivation.

Categories
diet exercise Food gym Health healthy Mental health Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Why does the way I view my body always change?

Sometimes I think I actually look okay, and then I look down at my thighs and see myself in the mirror.

I thought I looked ok today, then I saw a glimpse of myself in the shop mirror!

I’m disgusting, I don’t feel that I ever deserve any food ever again. I know this isn’t realistic but I hate myself so much right now!

I’m out shopping with my career and I’m so scared about what people think about me. Are they whispering behind my back saying how gross I look?

I start to hate myself all over again.

Categories
anorexia Anxiety diet Food Health healthy Mental health mental health blogger Over weight Overweight Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I’m disgusting!!!!!

Look at that.

I’m horrible.

I hate myself.

That double chin is so horrible.

I NEED TO LOOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I’ve never felt so gross and fat. I’m so embarrassed that I can see how fat I actually am!

I hate myself so deeply, I feel I no longer want to be here. I know that’s not the solution but i hate myself so much that I think I don’t deserve to be here.

I used to be anorexic, I bet you would never guess or think I used to be under weight. I’m now extremely overweight!!!

Categories
anorexia Anxiety exercise Food Mental health Over weight Overweight Personality disorder Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

What size am I?

I know I’m fat but what size am I?

I had to try clothes on today And im so embarrass. Luckily no one saw. But the shorts wouldn’t come over my thighs and they were labels a size bigger than I would normally get.

I hate myself.

I want to loose so much weight and I hope this is the motivation I needed.

So I weight too much and I look fat and disgusting.

Categories
anorexia Anxiety Daily update Emotionally unstable personality disorder Emotions Food Health healthy Mental health self harm Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I can’t do it!

It’s so hard, eating. I feel incredibly guilty and fat, I hate myself.

I’m struggling with solid foods or liquid calories. I’m physically struggling to swallow solid foods, and mentally struggling to drink, drinks with calories. I wish I could drink alcohol with out the guilt, calories and gain benefits.

I wish I could live of Diet Coke. Zero calories, and it dehydrates.