I’ve now currently been on section 2 in an acute psychiatric ward for three weeks, leaving the ward once to go on escorted leave with staff.
Yesterday I got some good news that I’ve been waiting months for… my dbs check is done and it means I’m a Step closer to starting the job, that’s if they still want me! I really hope they do it’s my dream job.
I need to start focusing on the positives not just the negatives.
On Thursday I have a discharge meeting in ward round with my care co. So hopefully I can be discharged on Thursday although I doubt it as they don’t like discharging at the end of the week but my section runs out a week today. So I hope something gets sorted quickly!
I’m having some really unusual dreams at the moment.
I’ve decided I’m going to stick with having the depot haloperidol as it works for me and I need to be well for work.
I don’t know if you can tell but I’m quite excited about this as I’ve been waiting months…
Only down side is I’ve lost my driving license for 3 months. so I will have to figure a different way to get to work if it starts before then.
There has been lots of tears, restraints, injections, prn, and anxiety but I’m starting to feel better.
Last Tuesday they decided they were going to give me the depot of haloperidol instead of the daily injections that were causing me so much distress.
It’s only 4 days after and I feel a difference already, the voices have died down, I’m no longer following there commands about harming myself or not eating.
I hadn’t eaten in 2 and a half weeks due to the voices telling me the food was poisoned, but since the depot I’ve managed to start eating, i did loose 20 lbs in the weeks that I wasn’t eating, I am scared that now I’m going to put all that weight back on but now I’ve got an even bigger reason to loose as much weight as I can now.
I had appealed my section called a Tribunal but I didn’t win it as I’m still here. It was horrible listening to them all talk about me and what’s wrong with me and why I’m not safe. An because of covid we were all on the phone, so we couldn’t see each other. Anyway I lost and I’m still here under section 2.
I have had a lot of falling out with my family since being in here, I hate the fact that they go behind my back to get information about me and my care when it clearly states on my notes not to share any information with them. Why should I? They never tell me when my team have been in touch with them. It’s horrible knowing everyone is going behind my back, it’s my cate talk to me!!!!
Ward round went well on Thursday, the consultant said I can be discharged this week coming. Which I’m happy about but I don’t think it’s going to be as simple as waking up tomorrow, packing and walking out the door, they have been talking about a CTO, which would mean I have to have another mental health act assessment and put on section 3 just to be put on a CTO.
My understanding of the CTO is that if I refuse the depot or mental health declines than I can be brought back in to hospital under section 3 automatically. Which is scary.
On Friday I went on my first escorted leave since arriving nearly 3 weeks ago. It was so nice to get out, the rain stopped for us and a nurse that I trust and get on well with took me. We had a really good chat. She also supported me to get my first meal here. Which I’m so great full for.
The occupational therapist spent some one to one time with me and she painted my nails. Gave me a sheet to colour and a puzzle to do in my room.
So as it stands now. I’m hopefully going home one day this week, I hope it’s really soon as I can’t wait to see my cats, sleep in my own bed and have a shave.
It’s amazing the difference one medication can make. I feel like a different person.
I will admit I didn’t realise I’ve been here this long, and luckily I don’t remember much about the distressing times.
Hopefully I will be home soon and back on the life I want to lead.
Here is a update about what’s been happening recently!
Weight- I had gained weight but I’ve now lost some again. I worked I’ve lost 10lbs in 38 days but overnight lost another 1lb so it’s -11 lbs in 40 days!
Animal therapy- is going ok. I hadn’t been for a few sessions due to my mental health getting bad but I’m hoping it is starting to stabilise a bit.
Steps- I’ve been doing at least 10,000 steps a day but some days over 20,000 steps!
Plan to get back on track with slimming world. I’m not planning on going to the meetings until it’s the one before my last one. I really want to get my 1 stone loss award!
Bath/self care- has been a little better. I seem to be trying more.
Things that have been going wrong and struggling with…
Saw a man standing on the top of a bus when I was with my sister but it turns out that I was just imagining it!
Struggling with disordered eating thoughts,
The voices are bad on and off,
Having more nightmares,
Having more highs and lows,
Struggling to stick with any direction in life that I’m choosing,
Struggling to accept the weight I’ve lost is good enough.
Things that are going right or that I’m enjoying…
Trying to understand myself better, thinking about things I’m struggling with,
I enjoy spending time with my cats and waking up with all three of them on me,
I’m enjoying trying to start thinking about a career,
Starting yoga and creative writing, with Mind mental health,
Going to animal therapy and cuddling the goats,
My WeightLoss is going ok.
I’m getting braver and I’m trying at life! I’ve got this! (I hope.)
So I haven’t done a proper mental health update for a while and as it’s coming to the end of the year I’m going too do an update.
I have been sectioned twice in the last few months. I’m now out of hospital after a pretty traumatic time in there!
Since coming out of hospital I’ve stopped my medication.
I’ve put on three stone since being inpatient and put on medication.
I was eating all the foods I fancied and this made me gain so much weight so quickly as well as basically sat on my bed all day everyday. Also put back on too antipsychotic medication.
So since I’ve came out of hospital I weighed myself and I was so shocked! I’ve started diet pills and my gp referred me to slimming world which I start tomorrow.
I’ve stopped the antipsychotic medication and I’m currently doing ok. I’m going to my meetings, keeping myself active everyday and trying to push though all the bad thoughts and voices!
I went too a private Therapist to start therapy but I’ve decided I want to wait a bit. I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about my past and trauma, even though I feel it’s holding me back!
Unfortunately I’ve started drinking too much Alcohol. This is probably not helping with my weight!
I’m looking forward to Christmas this year! I’m trying to make it a brilliant time for my family! I know it’s going to be really tricky and I’m going to get upset with my mums behaviour, but I want to make my family happy so I’m going to try my best to stay strong!
I’m really trying so hard to get along with my Family!
So I guess that’s where I’m up too!
I hope you all have a good Christmas and stay safe!
I’m here for anyone if you want to talk or struggling!
Hello, things have been hectic some good some bad. I will explain in individual blog posts. Hope your all okay. Here’s a picture of my baby to brighten up the post. 💙
so I will have to figure a different way to get to work if it starts before then. 
💫 Rosie’s Mental Health Journey 💫 