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Where am I heading?

I’m not really sure, but this post will contain talk about weight, self harm and unhealthy habits/thoughts.

First of all my harming is making my physical health decline and pretty quickly, my heamaglobin is currently at 8.7 and under 11.5 is anemic. But I know I was told if it goes under 7 then a mental health act assessment will be called. But when I spoke to my cpn and gp last week they both said it’s up to the each other, no one would take responsibility. I asked my cpn what consequences is there if I keep harming and she said what do you think I said ” I’d die” and she said yep pretty much. So now I’m left with the choice to continue and risks mental health act assessment or take iron supplements and get better?

My weight is pretty stable at the moment my bmi Is pretty much in the middle of healthy weight. I’m not happy it staying there, but I need to put the effort in and make the conscious choice of getting to my goal weight. I need to think in to detail of how I’m going to get it where I want it and how? I also need to think about what happens if it doesnt go to plan?

At the minute I’m pretty stable on my medication, it is being changed in the next few weeks again but I want this change. It’s from diazepam to pregabline, I’ve been on diazepam over two years, and no longer find it helpful, just take it for the sake of it. 

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anorexia Anxiety Daily update Diary Doctors Emotionally unstable personality disorder exercise Food Health healthy hospital Medication Mental health Nhs Over weight Overweight Personality disorder psychiatrist psychosis Schizophrenia self harm Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Weight loss plan

My personal weight loss plan… (I will make this work, I have too.) 

Only count calories that I’ve actively burnt. This way I will feel more motivation to keep exercising. 

Do not count resting calories. These burn whether I exercise or not. It’s cheating calculating these. 

Always try to have a -net calorie by the end of the day. Burn more than I eat. 

Your not hungry, you don’t need food, don’t eat!!!

Count every single calorie consumed and burnt.

No late time eating, no snacks. Fill up on water.

Progress pictures of self and scale, pictures of myself in clothes I want to fit. Find clothes that will look good on and buy them smaller. To motivate me to loose weight.

Find clothes out that you want to fit, and take pictures of them. And myself wearing them, so I can see how much better I will look when I’ve lost the weight.

Put weight online, so I’m ashamed and work harder at burning it off.

Try to only weigh myself once a week.

Get at least 6-8 hours sleep.

Eat something tiny to get metabolic burning. Or / and exercise cardio for at least 40 minutes, this will burn my fat through out the day. 

Get up early and exercise, 

Try to complete to do list for the day, keeps me busy and burning calories. 

Always complete step goal for the day. 

Go shopping try on clothes i want to fit. 

Loads of water, water is my best friend. 

Use internet and pictures to not eat, when I get the urges to eat. 

Try more than yesterday, work harder! 

Burn as much calories as possible. 

Focus on loosing weight more than anything else. I have 27 days roughly. 

This is my personal plan. I do not encourage others.