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diet exercise Food Health healthy mental health blogger Over weight Overweight slimming world Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I’ve gained so much weight back in two days! So upset!

I hate myself so much.

I have to loose weight! I have too!

What can u do?

I’ve tried…

  • Slimming world,
  • Diet pills,
  • Fasting,
  • Exercise,
  • lots of water,
  • Healthy eating!

But I always binge, I always gained so much, even more than where I started!

What else can I try?

I’m struggling so much.

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Anxiety Daily update Emotionally unstable personality disorder Medication Mental health Personality disorder Schizophrenia Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

Off to the beach.

I’m looking forward to today, I’m going to a beach my therapist suggested. I’m looking forward to a nice walk in the sun. 

I’m hoping to go to A supermarket before hand to get healthy food and some vitamin b complex. Someone left a comment on a previous post about it boasting your metabolism, and I did my own research it does loook like there’s lots of Benifits to taking it, and not many side effects.

I’m really clamping down on my weightloss, I’m being very controlled about what I consume, so today will be a test to see if I can be out and eat healthy. 

Categories
Anxiety Emotionally unstable personality disorder Medication Mental health Over weight Overweight Personality disorder psychosis Schizophrenia self harm Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

New jeans, bra and top. 

Trigger warning: scars, fat. 

It’s very rare I wear all clean clothes. I even changed my knickers and socks today. 

I had a bath and a shave (think it’s been weeks since my last bath.) and then put on my new clothes. 

I’m really happy with them, the jeans I got yesterday from my favourite shop, in a size I didn’t think I would fit in to, I do think I look quite fat still but  I look loads better than when I started my weight loss journey. 

I’m also wearing my new bra, and the top also from my favourite shop I brought in the Christmas sales, and it actually fits me now and looks good with a proper bra.

So here is a sneak peak of today’s outfit. Please be nice it’s taken a lot of courage to post this. 

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anorexia Anxiety Diary Emotionally unstable personality disorder exercise Food Health healthy Medication Mental health Over weight Overweight Personality disorder psychiatrist psychosis Schizophrenia self harm Weight weight gain weight loss weightloss

I’m disgusting, I’ve put loads of weight on! 

I hate myself so much right now! 

I don’t deserve to get anything that I wanted, or had planned too. So that food shop I was planning is not going to happen. 

I need to be punished for this weight gain. I need to tell myself it’s not acceptable. I deserve to suffer, I need to exercise as much as I can, and not eat! 

I do not deserve the luxury of food, I’ve got enough fat on my body to survive for years. 

I’m so angry at myself, I really can’t think of where the weight had come from. I don’t go to the toilet regularly, which could contribute a bit, I wouldn’t say it’s water weight as I didn’t drink water yesterday.  Is it because of my medication being upped, is it not enough exercise, I need answers?

I’m so angry and annoyed I need to be punished. I will make sure I get the pain I deserve. 

I HATE MYSELF!! 


I know my weight is horrible! Help me loose weight, please?