Mental health mental health blogger

Friday 3rd April update.

Honestly I’m struggling. I’m struggling with motivation, loneliness and anxious.

I’ve had a video call with psychiatrist and cpn, that went well, I r had phone calls with my support worker. Turns out I’ve also got a water infection.

I’ve been trying to keep busy but all I can think about is being in my own complexity from the 12th and worrying about not being able to see my mum on her 50th birthday.

I need to keep busy, but I’m so tired.

Taylor my youngest is now 5.

Taylor’s birthday was on the 1st April and she is now 5. I can’t believe it. I’ve got a 8,7 and 5 year old. I love seeing them growing up. I’m worried about they day when they die, as I don’t think I can cope without them but I love them so much and will treasure them while they are here.

Edit- (They are cats, sorry if I miss lead anyone)

Mental health

Not long until I will be an auntie. 

I have so many feelings about this. I’m really looking forward to a niece or nephew, and my sister becoming a mum. I think she will be great. 

I’m worried though because I don’t want her to be in pain but without the pain she can’t give birth. 

I also feel that as the oldest sister I should have had a baby first, but weighing up the life i have, it would be extremely difficult for me to have a baby, I can’t fully look after myself yet. 

Baby is in the right position, but got 42 days till due date. 

I have also set myself my own goals to be achieved before baby arrives, which were around weight loss, because I want to look nice in the photos when baby arrives. ( I don’t care if that sounds big headed) I want to look back at the photos and not be 100% ashamed with how I look. 

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Worry stone

I was away this weekend, and wanted to get a souvenir from where I went, there was a little hut that was just opening as it was early in the morning. I went in to the hut, and had a look at the things for sale and as I was thinking of leaving, a box grabbed my attention. I was standing right by it a few minutes before I saw it.

It was a sign from God, there was worry stones in the box that grabbed my attention. As soon as I saw them I knew I needed to get them. I know they probably don’t work but it’s the psychological thoughts it gives out that makes it special.

I’ve got one for me, one for my brothers grave and a stone with the name of where I was printed on to it. This is going in my good time box.

I recon it was one of Gods suttle signs of Him helping.